GREETINGS one and all. Sleb Safari comes to you this week from the very beautiful Lake Como where a heatwave is doing its best to melt the polar caps from afar so you’ll forgive Sleb Safari if it’s a little factious.
Sleb Safari has been handling the extreme temperatures as best it can and has taken to draping a damp facecloth over its head and re-soaking it with icy water whenever it freshens its Aperol Spritz.
It likes to imagine close neighbour George Clooney is also wilting. Granted, he didn’t seem to be when he was out on a boat with his wife and friends, who included Julia Roberts, to watch a fourth of July fireworks display but Sleb Safari prefers to think he’s just hiding his discomfort well.
The actor is reportedly considering selling his Lake Como home and moving to a less accessible part of the country because he’s fed up with paparazzi intrusion but perhaps it’s the scorching days and pizza-oven hot nights that are getting to him.
Short of building a fortress atop an Italian mountain Sleb Safari isn’t sure what George can do to get away from the paparazzi. This is Italy after all, not the Australian outback. And where would Julia Roberts and her family holiday if George left Como?
Italian press has also reported that the newly wed has had enough of the long lenses (Sleb Safari understands, no-one wants to be photographed on their balcony with a facecloth on their head) and is tempted by a $100 million offer on the house he bought for a tenth of that price in 2001.
The fact that Sleb Safari is holidaying a handful of kilometres up the road from George is mere coincidence. Really, Sleb Safari would hate anyone to put two and two together and get $100 million.
In fact Sleb Safari would like it on record that it is no plans to buy Villa Oleandra and spend its early retirement playing host to Julia Roberts and Cindy Crawford and their families.
It would, however, be OK with popping round for an aperitivo, so George, or Amal, if you’re reading this you can reach Sleb Safari via social media, email or even just pop an invitation through the door. Sleb Safari promises to leave the face cloth at home.
Celebrity divorce expert spills the beans
SAD times in the Garner/Affleck household this weather with the couple ending their 10-year marriage.
Rob Shuter is a former publicist who handled the original Bennifer break-up (that’s Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez for any millennials reading this) and he offers an interesting insight into celebrity break-ups in an interview with nymag.com.
First off he confirms what we all believed – the end of a relationship is managed according to the couples’ fondness for media exposure.
“If you have a reality star who enjoys attention, you handle it very differently. You’ll stage photo ops. You’ll stage the paparazzi when they're walking down the street looking very sad, wearing black,” Rob says.
He continues: “It's totally overt, to the point where you tell them the time to be there. ‘She’ll be in Central Park, wearing black, sitting on a bench, and she’ll be there for ten minutes. Fine, see you at 12:01.’”
Rob says there are stars who are not photographed unless they absolutely want to be and describes Jennifer Aniston as “a stealth bomber” who was exploited by John Mayer when they dated since “nobody likes the press as much as John Mayer does”.
As for the original Bennifer, Rob says we should keep an eye on things…
Shaggy says he'll sort out IS
MOST outside-the-box idea of the week award goes to Shaggy for his declaration that his music could be used to defeat Islamic State.
Shaggy, known only for his hit It Wasn’t Me, told the Miami New Times that IS have carried out some “horrible” acts and said it was in part due to their having been deprived of music.
“If you’re able to cut a man’s head off, you’re sick. But right, music evokes emotion. So if they’re listening to Shaggy music or reggae music, they’re not going to want to cut somebody’s head off,” he said.
Sleb Safari will be monitoring this developing situation.
Social media watch
#whattheygonnadrive pic.twitter.com/bBLEhrfTEQ
— Paul Feig (@paulfeig) July 8, 2015
