Insomnia, hot flushes, night sweats, muscle pain, brain fog, anxiety – these are just some of the many debilitating symptoms of the menopause.
So, why does it happen? Is there anything you can do about it? Why is it named after men? And why, oh why is so little known about this inevitable phase of a woman’s life?
Dublin-based stand-up and writer Anne Gildea, a co-founder member of the critically acclaimed Irish musical-comedy trio The Nualas, provides the answers to all these questions and more in her show, How to Get The Menopause and Enjoy It.
Whilst navigating ‘the change’ is no joke to many, Anne has found that “having a conversation” about it through comedy has been very empowering for her audiences.
Anne’s taboo-busting show, which has been described as Billy Connolly meets Vagina Monologues, brings TMI (too much information) to a whole new level as she blends research with personal experience and discusses the body, medicine, sex, cabbage and beautifying your nether regions.
“The show connects and resonates so much with women, the reaction is just amazing,” says the 57-year-old.
It was during lockdown she started to write a “show about midlife”. It was her husband Paul who suggested the show be about menopause and who came up with the title.
“This was before Davina McCall's documentary and when I started researching it I went into shock about all I didn't know about my own body and about what's going on when you're going through menopause.
“I think it’s because historically there was a whole secrecy around our bodies,” adds Anne, who was raised in rural Sligo.
“At the time my sole goal was to create a funny show about midlife Irish womanhood. But the more I read, the more my jaw dropped. I could not believe all I didn’t know and how the fall in oestrogen affects the brain, bones and heart long term.”
The biggest shock for the Dublin comedian, who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2011 and underwent chemotherapy and a mastectomy in 2012, was the revelation that it was her treatment that “plunged” her into the menopause.
“I was 45 when I had breast cancer. I had hot flushes, night sweats and vertigo, but I put that down to chemo rather than the menopause. I wish I had known then, so I could make more informed choices,” adds Anne, who previously documented her cancer journey in her show I’ve got Cancer. What’s Your Excuse?
As her cancer wasn’t hormonal driven, Anne chose to take hormone replacement therapy (HRT) – but she is keen to stress she doesn’t “push or promote” any particular treatment.
“There is a lot of conflicting information out there. In particular, there was a big study published in America 21 years ago called The Women's Health Initiative Study, showing a link between HRT and breast cancer, which had a very narrow cohort and has since been refuted.
“I accept HRT isn’t for all women. I just want them to learn more about their bodies and do their own research.”
Anne takes time to chat to audiences after every show and admits it’s real women that inspire the Manchester-born comic and give her some of her best material.
“A common story that I get from women is that the GPs don't want to know. One woman told me that she wanted to have a conversation with her GP about menopause and whether or not she should go on HRT, and her GP’s reply was “I would know about - that’s woman’s stuff.
“This is shocking, but Irish women’s sense of humour shines through, even when they are suffering. In my show I talk about mooncups. This started with a conversation after a show in Clontarf when the ladies' daughters were telling her about the environmentally friendly menstrual cup. After an explanation of what it was, she said “Mooncup? I'd need the Sam Maguire Cup.”
While the laughs come hot and heavy throughout the show, Anne stresses you don’t have to be going through the menopause, or even be female, to enjoy the show.
“It's a very inclusive condition. You don't have to suffer from it. I’ve guys who come to the show and I absolutely love it because it helps them make sense of what their partner is going through.“
Grateful that, thanks to campaigns by celebrities like Davina McCall, there is more of a conversation about menopause nowadays, she assures women that ageing isn’t something women should fear and that menopause can only make you stronger.
“It was the philosopher Kierkegaard who said ‘life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards’, but the great thing about women this age is that they have so much knowledge and wisdom about life.
“I know there can be a lot of responsibility, with parents getting older and teenage kids, but for a lot of women, great freedom comes around this age too. That's why in some cultures they call it the second spring. I look around and I see a lot of women who really are coming into their own at this age and asking themselves what they really want to do now.
“In the past, women were a bit sidelined when they were moving through middle age. I don't feel that's happening now. I think it's a great time for women.”
Anne herself used the opportunity of lockdown to learn and start playing the guitar.
“Music was such a huge part of The Nualas, but I was never the instrumentalist. I would write a melody by singing it or clunking around on the keyboard a bit. I’ve actually discovered I have such an affinity for guitar, I absolutely love it.”
She has written three songs for How to Get the Menopause and Enjoy It, accompanying herself on guitar.
“One of them is a song about romance in middle age. It's called Romance in Middle Age,” laughs Anne, giving nothing away.
And what is her answer to the show’s title - how do you get the menopause and enjoy it?
“By completely embracing the experience, and really owning being an older woman. We have the knowledge and wisdom to make this an incredible time in our lives.”
:: Anne Gildea – How to Get the Menopause and Enjoy It plays The Black Box, Belfast, on May 1 as part of the Catherdral Quarter Arts Festival. For tickets and full programme visit Cqaf.com.
