"I WILL have to join the modern world and get a smartphone, because my phone is as dumb as can be," quips acclaimed children's author Jacqueline Wilson, lamenting her confusion at dialling in for our interview.
Her Cavapoo puppy, Molly, is another distraction for the Tracy Beaker creator, who has sold more than 40 million books - but once the lively pup is removed from the room, Wilson is ready to talk.
In fact, her creative juices were positively flowing during the pandemic, she discloses, with books galore - still to be published - and new TV projects in the pipeline.
"During the two years when I wasn't able to go out and about, I've become like a hamster in a cage, writing more than ever," the former Children's Laureate enthuses.
She has now written The Magic Faraway Tree: A New Adventure, a re-imagining of Enid Blyton's story about three children who discover enchanted lands at the top of an enormous tree - but with a modern twist. The original (there were three in the series) was Wilson's favourite book as a child.
She says "everything is similar" to Blyton's original, first published more than seven decades years ago, "but my children are modern children", Wilson (76) adds.
The book introduces Milo, Mia and Birdy in a contemporary way, with parents keeping a watchful eye in the background, whereas the original saw no parental supervision as the norm.
"I speak not only as a woman in her 70s but as a six-year-old reading one of the first books that turned me into a fluent reader," says Wilson.
"I have no idea whether Enid Blyton thought they were her absolute triumph, but I think they are, outdoing The Famous Five and The Secret Seven."
Her Enid Blyton re-imagining has been described by one critic as a 'woke rewrite'.
"That was by someone who hadn't read a word of it. Of course it isn't," she says seriously.
"I'm very respectful of the original but over many decades, occasionally food references or unfortunate references that were very ordinary in their times but nowadays don't fit with the way we think have gently been changed."
She features the Land of Unicorns and the Land of Dragons, which she realises may be stereotypical of genders (girls liking unicorns, boys preferring dragons, she muses).
"You have to be careful, you have to be inclusive," she agrees. "I've the Land of Princes and Princesses - and you couldn't get more stereotypical there - but I have tried to have the children respond in the way I think they would.
"Any child reading the story can identify with one or the other or all of the reactions."
It was important for her to create a happy escapism from the stark realities of our world today, she agrees.
"This is the way of children's literature, that Covid doesn't exist, frightening wars don't exist, it's a book set during the children's summer holiday and I want it to be a kind of holiday for all of us. And it's a holiday for me too, because as you know, I tend to write about children going through tough times, although there are funny times too."
Indeed, Wilson has tackled numerous difficult subjects in her books - including divorce, bullying, broken families and other adult issues, without alienating her young audience. She wrote a same-sex love story, Love Frankie, two years ago, after publicly coming out herself.
How difficult is it these days for authors not to offend someone?
"Judging by the things that happen to fellow authors, it's a difficult time," she reflects. "I think very few people want to upset anybody. I feel that in children's books, children themselves aren't thinking very hard about what's happening - they are just enjoying the adventure."
She's not on social media - you won't find her posting on Instagram and Twitter.
"I know it sounds ridiculous, but I'm not interested in it," she says of social media. "I read newspapers every day - actual physical print newspapers - and I like to keep up with what's happening.
"I do text. I feel that it [social media] is a wonderful thing in many ways as it connects people, and I've been absolutely thrilled if I've been a very minor Twitter storm in some way.
"But if I've got an opinion, I will express it to my partner, my daughter, my friends, but I'm not 100 per cent certain that I want to share all the trivia of my life and the escapades of my new puppy with lots of people on social media.
"But I'm very grateful to TikTok because it has made many teenagers keen on reading books."
::The Magic Faraway Tree: A New Adventure by Jacqueline Wilson is published by Hodder Children's Books, priced £12.99. Available now.
