MEG 2: THE TRENCH (12A, 115 mins) Action/Adventure/Horror/Thriller. Jason Statham, Wu Jing, Sophia Cai, Cliff Curtis, Page Kennedy, Skyler Samuels, Sergio Persis-Mencheta. Director: Ben Wheatley.
Released: August 4
JUST when you thought it was safe to go back into the water, director Ben Wheatley’s clunky Jaws and Jurassic Park hybrid shreds the rules of engagement and takes the monster-mashing mayhem onto dry land.
Adapted from the second book of seven (thus far) by American author Steve Alten, Meg 2: The Trench paddles in dramatic shallows, undecided whether to take the battle between humankind and 75ft long predators seriously or go full blown, tongue-in-cheek camp a la Sharknado and its B-movie brethren.
Returning scriptwriters Jon and Erich Hoeber and Dean Georgaris make casual attempts at self-awareness.
“I even made poison-tipped bullets just like Jaws 2,” proudly discloses one locked-and-loaded hero who survived the carnage of the 2018 film.
The same salty-mouthed character hits the nail on the hammerhead shark when he lambasts the decision to deviate from a mission plan to venture into uncharted territory as “dumbass”.
Plenty of moments in Wheatley’s sequel warrant that assessment, from leading man Jason Statham jousting with three hungry megalodons while riding a jet ski to a hastily contrived escape from certain death 25,000 feet beneath the waves.
Meg 2: The Trench cues up Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie to herald the sweat-drenched return of underwater rescue expert Jonas Taylor (Statham).
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Accompanied by his 14-year-old surrogate daughter Meiying (Sophia Cai) and her uncle Jiuming (Wu Jing) from the Oceanic Institute in China, Jonas prepares to venture back into a cranny of the Mariana Trench where a layer of near-freezing hydrogen sulphide called a thermocline shrouds and contains an ancient ecosystem ruled by voracious megalodons.
Jonas’s friend Mac (Cliff Curtis) and his cohorts DJ (Page Kennedy) and Jess (Skyler Samuels) monitor progress from the Mana One Marine Research Centre.
A rogue mining operation overseen by Montes (Sergio Persis-Mencheta), which is extracting rare-earth metals worth billions of dollars from the trench, causes a breach in the protective layer.
Megalodons and other monstrous creatures of the deep escape into water surrounding the all-inclusive vacation mecca of Fun Island.
To quote the lyrics of Detroit-based rapper Page Kennedy’s song, which plays over the credits: “Spit ’em out, spit ’em out, chomp, megalodon!”
Opening with a digitally rendered diorama that establishes the shark’s credentials at the apex of the Cretaceous food chain, Meg 2: The Trench is a lumbering sequel which repeatedly tips its sun hat to the Jurassic Park franchise.
Statham glowers through each preposterous detour from reality, punctuating one kill with a cheeky maritime-themed one-liner.
The body count is extortionate, exemplified by an amusingly macabre shot, looking out from the open mouth of one creature as it skims the water’s surface and swallows shrieking swimmers in gnashing gulps.
Hook, line and almost a stinker.
RATING: 2/5
