Snow Patrol front man Gary Lightbody credits his grandmother with shaping his view of how people should be treated.
Gary said his Protestant grandmother had a Catholic best friend in Derry at a time "when that didn’t happen very often" and opened her home to anyone and everyone.
“My grandmother was the guiding light in our family. She was from a Protestant family but her best friend was a Catholic at a time in Derry when that didn’t happen very often. She had people from all sides over for a wee cuppa. She was somebody that embraced everybody. I have always taken that to be the way life should be read.
“She always said everybody has a story, it doesn’t matter who you are, she was very openminded, and from a very young age that’s how I thought.”
Speaking at an Ulster University event in St Anne's Cathedral in Belfast earlier this week the Snow Patrol frontman called on Northern Ireland politicians to get Stormont back up and running.
He said he believed "the overwhelming feeling" in the north "is that we want to maintain the peace we have and we want people to have equality in marriage and education".
“If only we could have a government that actually went to work. That would be a great start. The will of the people is that we live in peace and have lasting peace for our kids.”
The Co Down man spoke candidly about depression at the event and audience members were invited to make a donation towards Ulster University’s Mind Your Mood initiative.
When asked about his own experience of mental ill-health, he said: “I thought to myself, 'how can I be sad when I’m playing to thousands of people?' So I didn’t talk to anybody about it and I would berate myself for feeling like this. There’s definitely better ways of dealing with it than alcohol, but I didn’t understand that then.
“The drink was my worst enemy; I was living the wrong way. The way I was drinking was Olympic level. My lows are all consuming. My hands would shake if I didn’t drink at a certain time. I got really fat. I was taking too many drugs as well.”
For years he was stooped over by these thoughts.
“I hated myself for years, well in to my mid 30s. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror. But I don’t feel that way anymore because I’ve learnt new ways of being but it’s taken a long, long time.”
Indeed, it wasn’t until he was 40 that he sought help.
"Even I, as a sensitive person, couldn’t speak a word about my depression until I was 40. Most of my friends didn’t know what I was going through. But now we are able to talk about all of our issues together, which is a beautiful thing.”
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Gary harboured a belief that life would be instantly better if his music career was a success, something he later realised was mistaken.
“I thought everything would be different if I had a hit single. Then you have a hit and a hit and another hit. But you still feel depressed. In the latest album, I’m talking as honestly as possibly. A whole life lived sharing nothing - all of that is coming out now.”
For a long time Gary sought refuge in LA but now he finds comfort in his hometown of Bangor, a place he felt he didn’t belong growing up.
“My mum and dad live next door, my sister lives the other side,” he said.
But his relationship with his father, who has Alzheimer's, wasn't always straightforward.
“Me and my dad were always at odds. Our political views and views in everything were different. He was John McCain and I was Obama, whatever it is, we would always argue. When I heard that he was ill it changed everything. Our dynamic now, there is a real sweetness to it. I have a relationship now with my dad that I wish I had early, that it didn’t take that (illness).”
Nowadays, the Snow Patrol lead man is more vocal about his political outlook but says he will never take those views on to the stage.
“I have said nothing for so long in these things. I used to think it was important that I stay out of it. I don’t want our band to be political, that they (fans) wouldn’t need to bring the outside world with them. I don’t speak politically at our gigs and I never will, but I feel in my daily life I can’t be quiet any more. It seems to be a time when we need as much light as possible.”
Acknowledging that he still faces obstacles in his life, Gary says he has found a calmness.
“There are days when I don’t feel at peace, but the person that I am now compared to the person I was - the sense of calmness now. I wish I could give my mum that calmness I now have, given she is going through what she is going through with my dad.”
