Shadows of the Damned: Hella Remastered (NetEase, multi-format)
THE demonic lovechild of a videogame supergroup, 2011′s Shadows of the Damned saw Japanese auteur Suda51 join forces with Resident Evil maestro Shinji Mikami and Silent Hill composer Akira Yamaoka for a marriage made in hell.
While the grindhouse result didn’t quite reach the heights of their solo work, it certainly deserved to sell more than 24,000 copies in its first month. Shadows of the Damned may have been a commercial bomb, but Hella Remastered gives the cult classic a second wind - and its potty-mouthed road trip still had me sniggering more than is healthy for a grown man.
Taking the Mikami out of action games, Shadows of the Damned follows foul-mouthed Latino demon hunter Garcia Hotspur (or Garcia F***ing Hotspur) and his skull sidekick Johnson through the bowels of hell on a quest to rescue his lingerie-clad girlfriend, Paula.
A grungy third-person shooter that focuses on fun, its over-the-shoulder combat is a nippy reworking of Resident Evil 4, with hordes of demons to take out with Garcia’s Boner (that’s his gun - fnar, fnar). A double entendre-laden parade of enemies and endless lock-and-key puzzles, an eight-hour running time ensures it doesn’t outstay its welcome, with much use made of light and dark combat.
While the murk drains Garcia’s health and shields enemies, light shots can illuminate goat heads and leave demons open to attack. Boss battles are a particular highlight as players juggle light and dark attacks to send a rogues’ gallery of hellish grotesques packing.
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Infamous for its non-stop willy jokes, chauvinism and gore, Shadows of the Damned is all in the worst possible taste. Health is restored by necking booze, checkpoints are marked by turds dropped by one-eyed William, while your pistol can be upgraded to a Big Boner by calling a phone sex line. Subtle this ain’t, but there’s an undeniable charm to its back-of-the-school-bus humour.
Your pistol can be upgraded to a Big Boner by calling a phone sex line. Subtle this ain’t, but there’s an undeniable charm to its back-of-the-school-bus humour.
For a game that looked dated even in 2011, Hella Remastered doesn’t exactly spruce things up. Despite running at 60fps and with 4K support, this is pretty much the game you remember. A handful of new costumes don’t make up for decade-old textures, assorted visual jank and a lack of quality-of-life tweaks – those lengthy cutscenes remain un-skippable and instant kills just seem unfair these days.
Despite running at 60fps and with 4K support, this is pretty much the game you remember
Horror junk food at its finest, Shadows of the Damned remains an unapologetically juvenile romp. And while not particularly long or hard, Hella Remastered proves this wild ride can still rise to the occasion.
