Pop Idol champion Michelle McManus has said having “dark thoughts” about not being there for her children if she died motivated her nine stone weight loss.
The Scottish singer, 44, revealed she carried a lot of “shame” after receiving negative comments about her body and weight in the media for many years.
Appearing on ITV’s Good Morning Britain, McManus said she feels the key is to focus on feeling happy for yourself, rather than others telling you how you should look.
She said: “I think through my 20s and 30s, I was so focused on going back to Scotland and having a go at this broadcast career and merely making myself a success that I didn’t really focus at all on my weight, which I know must sound insane when you say it out loud.
“Then I met my husband and then in my 40s I had these two beautiful babies back to back, two boys, Harry and Nicholas, and they’re four and two now.
“And when I had my children it was like a light switch went off because all of a sudden it wasn’t about me any more.
“And I just started to have seriously dark thoughts about me passing away and not being there for the kids, or something happening to them.
“And I don’t know if other people that have kids can relate to that when your kids come along, they become the most precious thing, and I kept thinking, ‘What do I need to do? I need the best version of myself to make sure I’m here for my boys’.”
The singer added: “It isn’t about what the scales say, it’s not about the label that’s on your clothes, it’s just finding that moment where you can look in the mirror and say, ‘I really like you’, and it’s actually really sad that I didn’t like myself after having these babies in my 40s.”
McManus said she tried various diets and considered surgery but that heightened her anxiety of not surviving even more.
She later returned to setting goals of a calorie deficit and started weight training and swimming alongside a life coach.
Reflecting on her view of herself now, she said: “I feel so much healthier. And I think the key to life is no one should tell you what you should weigh.
“You concentrate on you, and if you feel happy, that’s the key.”
The singer revealed she had avoided social media for years as she feared being abused online about her body after she had been attacked in newspapers following her Pop Idol win in 2003.
She said: “You’re told that you’re not attractive and you’re too fat and you don’t deserve it. It doesn’t matter how much you think that won’t affect you, it does.
“And I think, with age and when you look back, I only now realise how much that probably did affect me through my life.”
McManus has now returned to social media as she wanted to share her progress and said the response has been “so positive”.
The singer said: “I just thought I’m going to celebrate the fact that I’ve lost this weight, and I’ve lost nine stone, and I cannot tell you what the response has been like – it has been the most joyous experience on social media. People have been so positive, and it’s been lovely.
“And I think because the message is body positivity, it’s not because that person before wasn’t beautiful, I just couldn’t connect to that person in the mirror.
“And I think now I’m in a place where I look at myself and I’m like ‘I actually really like what I see, and I’m really, really happy’.
It was recently announced McManus would host a new entertainment TV show as well as a radio slot, titled Afternoons with Michelle McManus, for BBC Scotland channels.
