THERE’S always hope.
Even in the darkest hour we’d never give up on our prayers that a breakthrough will come along and change everything for the people we care about.
I hope that for Jody Gormley, and everyone like him, who is in bad health at the moment.
Although I would have preferred there was no serious reason for us to speak at all, talking to Jody last week was a privilege I will never forget. Being entrusted by him with telling his remarkable story and putting his inspirational message out there in print was the honour of my career in journalism.
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We’re the same age, we’re husbands, we’re fathers... As someone who lost a close friend to cancer a few years ago, I know well that our roles could easily have been reversed.
How can you make sense of it?
It’s all just luck, rotten luck.
I can’t claim to know Jody well but we established a rapport and he has a knack of establishing a rapport with people.
Three weeks’ previously I’d interviewed him about the stroke that came out of the blue during the summer while he’d been on holiday. But it was positive, it was about recovery, it was looking ahead to the future and there was a happy ending.
The news that he had terminal cancer spread like wildfire. When I heard it, like many more, I couldn’t get over it.
And so we spoke again…
“You ask the questions and I’ll do my best to answer them,” said Jody.
I asked the man questions I’d never wish to repeat to anyone: ‘How did your family react to the news you had terminal cancer? How will you spend the time you have left?’
As he promised, he answered them all honestly and openly as I knew he would because I’d always admired the forthright, positive way he went about things.
During the Covid lockdown, when there was no live GAA, I asked him (and almost every other former county manager I had a number for) to come up with their best team from players they’d either managed or played alongside.
Generously, everyone I asked either did a team or at least got back to me with a very valid reason not to do so.
Jody’s selection included a couple of guys who’d had some negative publicity.
It struck me then how that didn’t put him off, how he had the courage of his convictions and that he picked his team without prejudice: I’d asked him for the best footballers and he gave me that.
“I always try and see the good in people,” he said last week after I brought his team up.
“It’s easy to be critical and say: ‘That man’s X, Y and Z…’ But there’s good in everybody and what I have found is that people respond very well when you actually identify their positives - as long as it’s genuine.
“I’m not into just bullshit, but if you can make a genuine comment it can have a positive impact and some of the messages I’ve got have reinforced my view that that is important - it’s important for people’s self-esteem.
“Everybody has strengths and weaknesses and if you can give somebody a wee boost then why would you not? As long as it’s genuine – that’s the key.
“Maybe sometimes I’ve been too straight-up with people but that’s just me. It’s not coming from any bad place but I’ve always felt I was a straight-talker, that’s just the way it is.”
In a world seems more and more like a rat race, an unforgiving, greedy place where everyone is out for themselves, Jody’s words are a very timely reminder about what really matters.
His honest answers have given inspiration to people who need it most.
Who knows what is waiting for any of us around the next bend?
After the story went out so many people were inspired to comment and send good wishes. A man reached out to me after he’d read Jody’s words. I hadn’t seen nor heard from him in a while but I’d say he’s probably the best player I ever played with – he’d definitely be full-forward on my Best 15.
He was so good he was able to commentate on himself during a match.
The commentary went something like: “A high ball into the square. Holy God, what a catch… Ohhhhhhh, he’s round one, he’s round another one… On the left peg… Ah, pick ‘er out…”
As the goalie fumbled about trying to get the ball back out of the net he might throw in: “How many’s that I’ve got the day?”
A pure entertainer, even when you were trying to mark him he was a treat to watch.
He told me that a couple of years ago he was diagnosed with blood cancer and hasn’t kicked a ball since.
“I know where that man (Jody) is coming from,” he said.
“I got a warning shot but some boys go out and hit a tree and never come home again.”
That hit the net like one of his piledrivers.
We are all ‘only’ human. None of us can control our fate but we can control how we go about our lives. We have our own worries and responsibilities but we can try to do our best to be positive, to strive to give something back and play a part in our community.
Learn a lesson from Jody Gormley and remember there’s always hope.
