SITTING in the Clones changing rooms after Down’s Ulster semi-final devastating last-gasp defeat to Armagh, Gerard Collins knew it was over.
Perhaps because of the times in which he played during a decade dedicated to the red and black, rather than any misty-eyed hopes of All-Ireland glory, the Anglo-Celt was always the one; his holy grail.
Jason Duffy’s late winner would send the Mournemen into another Tailteann Cup campaign, one from which they would eventually emerge victorious. But Collins, along with former county captain Niall McParland, had already decided there could be no going back once those Ulster ambitions had ended.
However, that the summer would come to a close with Down’s conquerors lifting Sam Maguire put a slightly different look on things when all was said and done.
Orchard forward Cian McConville is on the same team as Collins at AIB, and the pair would have talked at different points through the year; with both sharing the same goal back in January.
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“We were saying it would be good to win something because there hadn’t been much silverware.
“Look how close we were that day [in Clones] and look where they ended up… it’s crazy. I always used to say it during my years with Down, you win one match, win two, and momentum is just a serious thing.”
That’s what he, what all of us, love about the game; when it is at its unpredictable best. And Collins will miss it, he knows that.
But, taking one last look around beneath the stands of St Tiernach’s Park, soaking in those last seconds as part of a Down panel - a childhood dream fulfilled – any momentary self-pity soon wore off.
Sitting beside the RGU Downpatrick man was Barry O’Hagan, who had only recently returned from a cruciate ligament injury to force his way back into Conor Laverty’s first 15 – only for lighting to strike again just 14 minutes into a third appearance since.
“I thought I was feeling down knowing this was it, but then there’s Barry with a suspected cruciate again.
“He’s a couple of years younger than me and here I’m helping him with his bag and putting his socks on… it gives you a bit of perspective.”
There were other factors to Collins’s decision too. Game-time had been hard to come by in his final year; the realisation that time was running out dawning too.
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After those marathon training sessions leading into the Armagh game, during which the Down management left no stone unturned in their bid to beat the eventual All-Ireland champions, he could see just how much things had changed.
The likes of captain Pierce Laverty, Ceilum Doherty, Daniel Guinness and others would go off into Newcastle for a coffee once those sessions were complete. Or maybe for a dip in the cold water at the Bloody Bridge on the way out towards Annalong.
Collins would have been there with bells on in the past but, with a wife and two young daughters at home, priorities had changed. Enough time was already being spent away.
And, even though Laverty allowed panel members to play league games for their clubs, there was a growing sense of guilt about the part he was able to play.
“The amount of hours we put in, Saturdays, Sundays, it was hard leaving the house sometimes with the wee girl hanging off you…
“It was at Lav’s discretion – he’s a winner, he wanted everything to try and get us to an Ulster final and you can’t knock that. But I just don’t think I could’ve done another two or three months.
“You were allowed to play the league matches with the club, which was great, but you were coming in and you didn’t know what they were doing in training, you didn’t know the system, you were giving your all for Down, maybe doing a tough session on a Thursday night with Down, club match on Friday and you’re maybe not playing as well as you would like to.
“Lav was good enough to let players go and play club, that was at the start of May and even though I did believe Down were going to win the Tailteann Cup, I had made my decision.
“This was always going to be my last year.”
Collins, McParland and O’Hagan took the train down to Dublin for the Tailteann decider, joining the team for a few pints in Meagher’s after Armagh’s semi-final epic with Kerry before staying with them at the Bonnington Hotel.
By then, though, Collins was fully immersed in the club scene as a winning run would see Downpatrick earn promotion back to Division One.
Despite coming into the championship in good form, however, Kevin Duffin’s men ended up losing a bizarre opener against Ballyholland last week to send them into Friday night’s last chance saloon date with Liatroim in Kilcoo.
“It’s hard to put your finger on what happened really –we struggled for first 15 then came into the game, got a couple of lucky goals, and somehow went in two points up at half-time for playing for poorly.
“Then in the second half we went six up with about 15 minutes to go, so to then end up losing it… it was just one of those games where you come off at the end thinking ‘what actually happened there?’
“We’ve only got ourselves to blame, it was basic mistakes on the night, which hasn’t really happened the last while. So now we have to dust ourselves down and go again, because this is when the real championship football starts.”
