As we continue to experience societal pressures telling us to look a certain way, be a certain weight, have ‘pilate arms’, use filters, and the list goes on… women can find themselves lacking confidence in who they are.
It’s no surprise that with unrealistic expectations thrust upon us, a Gee Hair 2021 study found that 85% of women do not consider themselves to be attractive.
Additionally, only one in five women feel confident in their appearance.
However, with the help of Women’s Healthy Weight Day – a reminder to accept every woman’s natural body appearance and weight – and advice from confidence coach and author Tiwalola Adebayo, we have some tips to boosting your confidence in 2025.
Realise how powerful your body is
Adebayo, who struggled with body confidence when she was younger due to seeking external validation from others, told PA the first step to feel confident was realising how powerful her body was.
To build inner confidence, Adebayo would look in the mirror in her underwear, hold different parts of her body and appreciate it.
“I would look into my eyes and say ‘I love you’. Even if I had spots on my face and didn’t like the way I looked. I would still say I love myself,” she says.
“Over time, those mini positive affirming actions change your perspective of how you feel about yourself.”
What Adebayo calls “body neutrality” means instead of linking our physical appearance to our self-worth, we can show gratitude and appreciation for our body’s abilities and functions.
Comparison is the thief of joy
Arden University recently launched the UK’s first confidence index which found 27% of women compare themselves to someone else on a daily basis.
“Everybody’s body is different and there’s no such thing as a perfect body,” Adebayo says.
She mentions that in a world of social media, we have to be hyper conscious to realise that a high percentage of images we see have been retouched and edited.
“It’s important we don’t look at ourselves in the mirror and compare it to an image online,” she says.
“Focus on who you are, what you’re made of and don’t let comparison steal your joy.”
When Adebayo finds herself in what she calls “Insecurity Olympics” – a room full of women saying things they don’t like about themselves – she quickly shuts the conversation down and reminds everyone they are beautiful in their own ways.
Create your true authentic self
Researchers have found that people who scored higher on a measure of authentic living reported greater happiness, more positive emotions, and higher self-esteem than people who reported being less authentic.
More authentic people also reported having better relationships with others and more personal growth.
“You cannot love yourself if you do not know yourself. You cannot show up as your true authentic self if you do not know yourself,” Adebayo says.
“You need to create your true authentic self on your own terms. If you want to be a confident person, you have to dissect your idea of your identity and recreate the one you want for yourself.”
Using methods such as working out your strengths, what you are passionate about and what your values are will make you more equipped to finding your true self and give you that sense of confidence and acceptance.
Keep the promises you make to yourself
Keeping our promises to ourselves can be challenging, as self-sabotage, limiting beliefs and past experiences can creep into our minds.
However Adebayo says that if you say you are going to do something, you need to do it.
“If you don’t follow through with action, you don’t get to build your confidence because confidence feeds on taking action,” she explains.
“The more action you take, the more confident you begin to feel in yourself. It’s important to do this and start with small steps and keep the momentum.”
Be unapologetically you
The final step is to be unapologetically yourself, says Adebayo.
“There’s no point in being the world’s best kept secret. If you have something special in you, you need to speak up,” she says.
“You need to use your voice and share it with the world. There is no confident person who hides their lights or dims their voice.”
Describing confidence as a beautiful feeling with an abundance of freedom tied to it, Adebayo says nobody has the power to make you feel insecure.
“When you make the decision that you love yourself just the way you are, your worth does not determine how you look,” she says.
“You matter simply because you exist. When you move around in the world, move around as somebody who has worth, regardless of how you look, how much money you have, who likes you.
“Your starting point is that you are good enough.”