When I look back all those years, our wedding was a great day. The church service, the reception organised to perfection by my parents - Dad the accountant and Mum the planner; invitations printed and posted; menu selected; order of service decided and wedding dress bought.
When I was trying it on in Brands & Normans, I fainted and apparently looked spectacular lying there all in white, including my face, with only severe black eyeliner spoiling the the virginal vision.
I went to May’s Market with a couple of friends and bought arms-full of flowers to decorate the church. Our friend Pat took the photographs and an aunt baked and decorated the cake.
Compare this with today’s fashionable wedding, where a professional wedding planner is employed to take the stress off parents and the couple themselves. I was at a wedding last week and I met Joanna Ryan who works at a large stately home in Scotland.
She’s responsible for over 30 couples a year, with numbers growing following Covid when men and women didn’t meet and marry in the usual way. Ceremonies range from religious to humanist, and from traditional to gay couples tying the knot.
The planner has to be well versed in all situations and in Joanna’s case she graduated in the subject and holds a degree. She had been a scientist specialising in molecular biology when, in 2014, she volunteered to work with the Glasgow Commonwealth Games.
When I was trying my wedding dress on in Brands and Normans, I fainted and apparently looked spectacular lying there all in white, including my face, with only severe black eyeliner spoiling the the virginal vision
She obviously did a good job, as the organisers told her she was a natural. They asked her if she had ever considered event planning, and this led to her concentrating on weddings.
“I’ve never regretted my decision,” she tells me. Of course, every planner is different, just as every wedding is unique to the people involved. Joanna explained that she has worked with couples who knew exactly what they wanted and she helps them bring their expectations to life on the day, or over a weekend in some cases.
This involves bringing the guests together to meet and bond, perhaps over an evening supper, then the actual ceremony and the meal, with dancing and the breakfast the next morning . After that, the guests head off with happy memories, waving goodbye to the newlyweds, still in the glow of their special day.
Sounds easy... but it’s not. For some planners it’s a year of working closely with the couple, guiding them through their plans, giving ideas, developing themes. Some people just present the planner with a budget and tell them to get on with it.
Up, Up And Away
Some are very specific, as Joanna told me: “I once had a Harry Potter theme and we had an owl delivering the rings - at least that was the plan. In rehearsals it worked well - I had the bird on my arm and at the given moment he flew off to the groom.
“However - you’ve guessed it - on the day, the bird flew up to the ceiling and round and round. I was running around with chicken legs trying to get it back down to earth.”
Joanna is always at the back of the room ready to watch out for any technical problems, to give cues to caterers and to work with the photographers. But, if the couple stay overnight, her day starts with a planned visit even before they get dressed in their wedding attire.
“I sleep in my motor home that night because it’s important to make sure I see them early and make sure they are relaxed and happy,” Joanna says. “Sometimes nerves can get the better of them or they might even be too laid back so I am part adviser, part designer and part counsellor.”
If you have a planner then a lot of the stress is lifted, the responsibility rests on their shoulder. Joanna sums it up: “If anyone sees me running then there is a problem. I’m like a swan - serene on top but my feet are paddling furiously underneath.”
There was no such organisation all those years ago when we tied the knot, but everything still went smoothly - even when a waitress with a tray of pavlova banged into the three-tier wedding cake and it collapsed.
Thankfully the groom caught the top tier and the best man the second. And despite the old adage that if a wedding cake collapses so will the marriage, fortunately we are still together today.
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