Food & Drink

We tested own-brand biscuits for a brew

Undertaking a best biscuit challenge is not what anybody’s waistline needs in the mouth of Christmas but, out of a sense of duty to Irish News readers, Neil Loughran steps up to the mark to review five own brand treats…

Biscuits can be high in sugar - and have you ever met anyone who stops at one?
Biscuits can be high in sugar - and have you ever met anyone who stops at one? We've taste tested biscuits and declared a winner

From childhood favourites to decadent dunkers, we’ve tried five of the finest packets of biscuits on sale in shops around Northern Ireland.

Marks & Spencer Outrageously Chocolatey Milk Chocolate Rounds Rating: ♦♦♦♦

Box of Marks & Spencer Outrageously Chocolatey Milk Chocolate Rounds
Marks & Spencer Outrageously Chocolatey Milk Chocolate Rounds (maeve-2020)

Excusing the borderline annoying over-elaborate name, the round has long established itself as a Christmas classic, and an integral part of the Marksy’s biscuit tins in most houses around the festive period.

Part of me still feels slightly short-changed by the hole in the middle - like the low-calorie Pizza Express offering where a hole is cut out of the main event and stuffed with leaves - but what remains is substantial enough to satisfy cravings for a serious chocolate biscuit hit. £3

Sainsbury’s Bourbon Twists with a Black Forest Flavour Cream Filling Rating: ♦♦♦

Bourbon twists with a black forest flavour cream filling are available in Sainsbury's
Bourbon twists with a black forest flavour cream filling are available in Sainsbury's

These are fairly new to the market, having been released earlier this year. There is also a peach and vanilla option, caramel too, but as a child of the ‘80s the black forest gateaux holds a special place in my heart.

This twist on the traditional bourbon definitely won’t be for everybody, with a few friends feeling it tasted too much like marzipan; too much like their past.

At just 65p, though, these are well worth a shot. Looking forward to future banana split and knickerbocker glory versions. 65p

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Spar Shortcake Rating: ♦♦♦

Okay, so what’s the difference between shortbread and shortcake? To my uncultured palette, absolutely nothing. But no! Google tells me that the main difference between shortbread and shortcake is that shortbread is a biscuit (duh), while shortcake is a sweeter, softer cake.

This does not seem like a cake. It looks and tastes very much like a biscuit and, as one by one the number in the packet decreases, I am glad of that. A timeless classic; can’t go wrong. £1.10

Tesco Belgian Milk Chocolate, Sea Salt and Caramel Cookies Rating: ♦♦♦♦

A box of Tesco Belgian Milk Chocolate, Caramel and Sea Salt Cookies
Tesco Belgian Milk Chocolate, Caramel and Sea Salt Cookies (maeve-2020)

We’re into the heavy-duty material here. This is a seriously robust bit of biscuit/cookie, whatever you wish to call it. One and done? Maybe not, but two – even three – is a push in one sitting, although it is achievable.

Perfect with tea, coffee or under a blanket in a darkened room. £2.10

Dunne’s Stores Normandy Butter Lemon, Chia and Poppy Sablé Biscuits Rating: ♦♦♦♦♦

Box of Dunnes Normandy butter lemon, chia and poppy sablé biscuit
Dunnes Normandy butter lemon, chia and poppy sablé biscuit (maeve-2020)

Let’s finish with a flourish. What do you mean you don’t know what a sablé is? Okay, allow me to enlighten you.

A sablé is a French round shortbread cookie that might have originated in Sablé-sur-Sarthe, and they are basically known for a sandy sort of texture. The Dunne’s offering is true to form, chewy chunks of lemon the star of the show in what is a flavour sensation – the pick of the bunch, for my money.

They are disconcertingly light as well, so prepare to bid a swift and satisfying farewell to the entire packet once opened. £2.29