Former One Direction bandmate Liam Payne died aged 31 after falling from a hotel balcony in Buenos Aires, Argentina, on Wednesday evening.
Some devastated fans congregated outside the hotel this morning to lay flowers and light candles, and many more have expressed their sadness about this loss on social media this morning.
The death of a young well-known celebrity can have a huge impact on young fans.
We have spoken to some experts about the reasons behind this and they have offered advice about how parents can help their children navigate moments of loss.
Why is the death of a young celebrity particularly shocking?
The death of any young person is traumatic, but when it’s a celebrity it can be particularly shocking as so much of their life is out in the open.
“Social media often plays out a celebrity’s final moments and young people might find themselves trawling through lots of old pictures and footage which can be upsetting,” says Lynn Crilly, counsellor, author and wellbeing expert. “Liam spoke about his own struggles which many young people suffer from as well, so the connection felt stronger, and they could relate to him.”
Teenagers in particular feel very attached to their idols, so often find it difficult when someone in the spotlight dies.
“For many, this may be the first loss they have experienced and suddenly they are faced with a mix of emotions and don’t know how to process them,” explains Chris Meaden, hypnotherapist and trauma specialist. “A celebrity they admire is a key part of childhood and when this person is suddenly and unexpectedly taken away, it can feel like a major loss, leaving a child to feel abandoned, scared and angry, as well as a deep sadness they have not felt before.”
Here are some ways parents can support their children after a sudden or shocking loss…
Acknowledge their feelings
Just because they didn’t know the celebrity personally, don’t be dismissive of their feelings.
“Let your child know that it’s okay to be upset or feel a mix of emotions,” advises Dr Elena Touroni, a consultant psychologist and co-founder of The Chelsea Psychology Clinic. “Reassure them that their grief is valid, even if the loss seems distant.”
Get rid of any distractions
“No one knows a child better than their parents or carers,” says Crilly. “Put aside quality quiet time to talk about it with them with no phones, or screens. Give them your whole attention.”
Create a safe environment
“Creating an environment where they feel trusted, safe and respected will help them open up,” says Crilly. “Some parents find that a car journey can be a good place to conduct tricky conversations, allowing youngsters to talk without the full glare of their parents’ attention on them.”
Be an active listener
Sometimes our children just want someone to vent to, so make sure you don’t interrupt them and inundate them with solutions.
“Offer a safe space where they can share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement,” recommends Touroni. “Sometimes just being there and listening is the most supportive thing you can do.”
Talk about loss gently
“Help them understand that grief is a natural response to loss,” says Touroni. “You can use this as an opportunity to talk about how they might feel and how grief can take time to process.”
Encourage them to be present and spend less time on their phones
Obsessing over old social media posts isn’t healthy, so encourage them to spend less time of their phones.
“Encourage them to spend less time on their devices and to get out and about,” recommends Crilly. “Also make time for doing things together.”
Share your own experiences
“If you have been through this in your own childhood when one of your idols died, you can share how you felt to normalise their feelings,” says Meaden.
Find a way to keep their memory alive
“Ask them if they have any questions and how they would like to think about and remember that person and keep their memory alive,” suggests Crilly.
Encourage healthy expression
It’s really important that they don’t suppress their emotions and feelings.
“Suggest writing, drawing, or even engaging in physical activities as ways to help release emotions,” recommends Touroni. “Encourage them to talk with friends or trusted adults if they need to.”
Remind them they you are there
“Remind them they are you there to support them anytime and that is it okay to feel they way they do,” suggests Meaden. “Grief has no timeline.”
