This year we are celebrating 20 years of UK LGBT+ History Month.
Founded by Schools Out in 2005, each February shines a light on the progress, achievements and ongoing battle for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender rights.
Progress still needs to be made though. The charity Stonewall found that only half of lesbian, gay and bisexual people (46%) and trans people (47%) feel able to be open about their sexual orientation or gender identity to everyone in their family.
Additionally, three in 10 bisexual men, and almost one in 10 bisexual women, say they cannot be open about their sexual orientation with any of their friends.
As we celebrate the milestone, here’s what some people wish that heterosexual and cis-gendered people would do more of.
Take time to learn and educate
Northern Irish content creator and host of Pop My Cherry podcast, Gerry Lavery said he wishes allies would take some time out to learn and educate themselves more about the LGBT+ community.
“I think sometimes people feel like if it’s not their community, it’s not their direct problem. But I would love to say straight people – be more educated on gay culture and gay issues such as The Stonewall Riots and the Aids epidemic,” says the 31-year-old from Derry.
“There’s also different spectrums of sexuality, such as asexual and pansexual. There are also trans issues and everything’s intertwined. You can’t be supportive of one thing without being supportive of all.
“I wish people were more educated and could therefore understand the hardships that different people have to go through in life, and therefore have more empathy to realise how difficult their life may actually be.”
Champion LGBTQ+ people when they’re not in the room
“Use your voice to uplift ours – advocate for us, create platforms for our stories and integrate our experiences into everyday conversations,” says Tate Smith, activist and founder of Tate Smith Consulting.
“Don’t let homophobia, biphobia or transphobia go unchallenged. Allyship should be proactive, not performative.”
The 25-year-old from London adds: “We need meaningful support, not virtue signalling. It’s about action, consistency and courage – because real allyship happens when no one is watching!”
Don’t ask questions you wouldn’t ask your straight friends
“You don’t have to ask questions like, ‘How do you know you’re gay?’ or, ‘When did you decide?’ or, ‘Have you ever been with the opposite sex?” says Irish content creator Gemma Leahy, from County Westmeath. “You wouldn’t ask someone how they realised they were straight.
“By avoiding those questions alone, you can make people feel a little bit more at ease and comfortable.”
The same goes for jokes and banter, says the 35-year-old. “Making comments such as, ‘You need a real man’, can often been seen as banter but it’s just out right crude and we need to redefine what actual ‘banter’ is.”
Stop worrying about making a mistake
Mark Cusack, a Scottish author, lecturer and specialist coach supporting people with complex orientation and gender identity, says: “I think there’s a really strong sense among LGBT+ allies that they’re going to get things wrong and they can get really nervous.
“But nobody has to be an expert. A lot of queer people ourselves are by no means experts on all the terms, so I wish our allies and friends or family would not worry so much.
“I think it can really hinder people who want to show love, support and have conversations, but they are scared.”
The 36-year-old says you can tell the difference between someone who is genuinely well-intentioned and somebody who is not.
“If you are genuinely well-intentioned and you make an honest mistake, then I think nine times out of 10, no one is going to care as long as you can just be corrected and learn from it.
“Don’t feel like you have to be an expert to be an ally. You don’t. You just need to care.”
