Pastimes were central to conversational French and Irish GCSE. Remember that? Whether you really had these pastimes or not was immaterial, it sounded good to rhyme off at least three, didn’t it?
This week I have been asking myself if I have a pastime, and if not, why not? Am I missing out on something?
This comes as I reach the stage of motherhood where I am looking into pastimes for my four-year-old. I found myself searching for ‘ballet classes near me’ online, something I never thought that I would do. She seems into it, for now, so let’s give it a go. My hope is that if we expose her to a few different pastimes, she will take to at least one of them, and for now, that will be her thing.
But what about me? Should I be looking in to trying something new that might add a new dimension to life?
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In the last few weeks, social media has been awash with posts about doing something new, giving yourself a challenge, learning a new skill. For every person who takes on something new, there are many of us who make the excuses that we don’t have the time or head space to so.
I spend my time spinning the plates of life – family and work take up a lot of time. I dabble in running, walking, go to the gym and try to maintain contact with close friends. Is that enough? Do I have time and energy to do anything else?
In my 20s and 30s, despite working a lot, I also had a lot of free time on my hands. In the words of Joni Mitchell, “You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone.” I attached no value whatsoever to that time. Now I count myself lucky if I get more than 30 seconds alone to have a shower.
Like most, our house is busy at the minute, and it can be difficult to get some peace and quiet, but I know it won’t be like this forever.
Then we will have no choice but to enjoy the quieter house. Will it be as enjoyable when there is no choice? Is that when I will finally learn how to seán nós dance, or to finally work at my Francais?
For now, time is my most valuable commodity. While I crave the time alone in a darkened room, could I give an hour a week to volunteer and help someone else?
My Granda died last September. Granny died almost four years ago. For over four decades, I have been lucky enough to have my grandparents in my life, and they were a huge part of it. I always made time to phone them, or call in to see them. If I didn’t call in a while, Granny would tell me that I was a ‘stranger in paradise’. I knew that contact and connection with them mattered.
The charity Engage with Age is currently seeking volunteers to give an hour of their time per week to commit to their befriending service which involves talking to an older person once a week, to help them feel less alone.
We are living in a time where loneliness has been described as a silent epidemic, it can affect anyone at any age. Some older people have no-one to talk to from one day to the next, the person on the radio or TV might be the only other voice they hear.
Someone who has committed to the befriending service told me that while a desire to help the vulnerable is a motivating factor for taking part, he also benefits enormously from the contact and with an older person who has lived a different life and can offer a different perspective. He acknowledged that an hour doesn’t seem like much, but it can make the world of difference to someone else.
One of my best friends recently took up dancing. By her own admission, she has no coordination but she loves it. It makes her a happier person. Perhaps if we all spent just an hour of our week in a different way, we could find a welcome injection of happy into our lives, and perhaps the lives of others.
