Life

Parents share the 6 game-changers that reduced screen time for their children

Parents and experts tell Lisa Salmon the steps they took to reduce their kids’ tech use and their own stress about screen time.

There are some easy ways to reduce your child’s dependence on their devices
There are some easy ways to reduce your child’s dependence on their devices There are some easy ways to reduce your child’s dependence on their devices (Alamy Stock Photo)

Children and young people’s obsession with screens can drive their parents mad – almost literally.

There’s no doubt that the frequent battles over how long kids spend on their screens can really stress some parents out, and this year’s Parent Mental Health Day (January 30) has a theme of #ScreenSmartParenting to address the growing concerns among parents about the impact of digital technology on their families’ wellbeing.

“Inevitably, too much engagement on screens may lead to parents worrying about what their child or young person might be exposed to,” says consultant clinical psychologist Dr Nihara Krause, founder of the teenage mental health charity stem4, which runs Parent Mental Health Day.

“There may be difficulty in gauging how screen time might be affecting children and young people, a lack of balance in terms of other activities, and a general feeling of not being in control.”

And mum Liat Hughes Joshi, author of How To Unplug Your Child (published in paperback by Vie Books on February 13, priced £7.99), stresses: “When I talk to parents about the toughest issues they face with their children, screen time is top of the list for very many of them.

“In some families it’s a daily battleground, in others still a source of worry for parents.”

But what are the game-changers parents have implemented that reduced their kids’ screen time – and, consequently, their own worries about it?

Krause asked three mums and a dad, who have children aged from 12-17 years, what worked for them…

1. Try to understand their online world

One parent said they made an effort to get to know what their child was doing online, joining in some of the games and activities, and then discussing what might make it hard to limit screen time and devising steps how to do it. The parent said: “I felt like if I couldn’t beat them, I would join them, and once I really understood what the draw was, I could then help them to learn to spend their time wisely.”

(Alamy Stock Photo)

2. Use parental controls after discussing it with the kids

Krause says another parent’s game-changer was: “Limiting screen time with controls, but discussing why these limits were set, and reviewing them regularly.”

3. Provide an enticing alternative

Rather than just expecting kids to go ‘cold turkey’ without constant screen time, Krause explains: “One parent felt they had to compete with limiting screen time by offering something extra and exciting, and although ultimately this took some arrangement in terms of schedules, they felt it contributed to enhanced communication and fun family activities.”

(Alamy Stock Photo)

She says the parent concluded: ‘It felt like everyone was together rather than pulling apart’.

4. Negotiation and collaboration

Krause says another simple game-changer is involving the child in any decisions made about screen time, as it can promote harmony instead of the usual screen-time battles.

“Set up collaboratively, based on the age of the child or young person or their vulnerabilities, structured use schedules. Monitor, negotiate and collaborate,” she suggests.

5. Make bedrooms screen-free overnight

Hughes Joshi says charging phones downstairs at night as a rule can be a real game-changer for parents. “This isn’t just about helping them relax before sleep, it’s also preventing that ‘must check my phone’ feeling as soon as they wake up,” she points out.

6. Try to change your own attitude towards your child’s screen time


Hughes Joshi says she thinks other parents might benefit from rethinking their approach to screen time.

She explains: “Beyond what you try and change in your child’s device use, you can alter your reaction to all this. What can you do to relax more and get perspective to choose what does and doesn’t matter so much about it?”

She says there may, for example, be aspects of your child’s tech use that might not actually be harmful but you just don’t like them spending their time that way. “Can you turn a blind eye to that sort of thing and choose to pick your battles and focus only on trying to change the must-haves?” she asks.

“You might prefer it if your child was reading a book or painting, and instead they’re scrolling on Instagram, but it might be better to let that go and focus on ensuring they’re using Instagram healthily and have perspective on what they look at.”

She adds: “None of this is easy. I’ve been there. I get it. But stand firm, be confident in what you’re trying to do, and it can make a difference.”