ONE of the most popular ideas in psychology and wellbeing at the moment is that of mindfulness. But what does it actually mean?
Essentially, mindfulness aims to help us more fully pay attention to the present moment, without being overwhelmed by events of the past or over anxious about the future. It also implies a certain thoughtfulness and stepping back from the world, in order to see the fuller picture and respond more flexibly as issues arise and problems need to be addressed.
In my everyday work with people, I find it helpful to describe the mindful person as the one who is able to, for example, play in a football game and be fully committed player on the pitch, yet also have the ability to see the game from the stands above, and watch patterns emerge and develop, much like the TV Commentator would do. Thus, the player can be both reflective and effective.
Like many of the recent developments in mental health intervention, mindfulness borrows heavily from much more ancient wisdom and beliefs, especially the Eastern Buddhist philosophy.
Yet, as a friend of mine highlighted recently, the idea of taking time out to reflect and be quiet is very central to many religious traditions and practices, although each approach may encourage a different focus.
In my own life, mindfulness means trying my best not to be mindless, the direct opposite. Strangely, as I have tried (and very often failed) to practice being mindful, I notice my behaviour has changed in two particular ways.
Firstly, in the past I used to get irate if I encountered some reckless driving, and was often tempted to flash my lights or blow the horn to protest at the offending motorist, causing me to become even more agitated and, if I encountered the wrong person, actually end up in a confrontation of sorts.
I notice that nowadays when I see such behaviour, I tend to ask myself, “I wonder what sort of day that person is having?” Maybe they are rushing to an urgent appointment or have received some bad news? Instead of protesting, I have found it more settling for myself to keep myself as safe on the road as I can, instead of trying to influence the other person’s driving.
Secondly, I used to (and at times still can) have a habit of responding right away to annoying emails, often cc-ing in a few more people for good measure to make sure my ire was shared. A little bit of mindfulness (alongside, perhaps, the advancing years) has helped me develop a habit of not responding to such communication within 24 hours, leaving it or perhaps drafting a response that is not sent at that time.
And in most cases, a day later it seems different in that things have moved on and the email is less important, or I have learned more about the situation and now see things differently, saving me annoying others more or embarrassing myself.
You can start by simply taking time each day to do nothing and just focus on your breathing for a minute, taking a mental break from what is going on around you.
Try to focus on doing things in a more mindful way – eat your meals without the television on or drive without music on in the car. You will be surprised at what you may notice and how you may actually feel calmer.
You may also enjoy the recently published but very funny and sensible Mindfulness Guide for the Frazzled by Ruby Wax, for some practical ideas about living a more mindful life.
:: Dr Paul Gaffney is a senior clinical psychologist. His book, On the ball? How Football Can Help Your Mental Health is available in bookshops.
