I'VE a friend from college who I met when I started last September.
We're both 19 and on the same course, but her life is very different to mine as her mum is an alcoholic.
She clearly finds this very difficult and has told me about an organisation she's joined to help the relatives of alcoholics, which has really helped her.
I know it's hard for her to talk about, but she's become a really good friend and I'd like to understand more about what she's going through.
Where would be a reliable place to get more information from?
JN
FIONA SAYS: Your friend may belong to Alateen which is the young person's part of Al-Anon Family Groups UK, for those affected by alcoholism.
The organisation provides help and support for relatives and close friends of people with a drink problem.
You may find it helpful to look at their website (al-anonuk.org.uk), especially the podcasts on the site which you may find very informative.
It does you great credit that you want to help and support your friend, but tread cautiously.
It may be that, although your friend has told you about her mother, she may not want to talk any more about it.
Show her you're willing to talk, but if she doesn't respond, be prepared to respect her privacy.
I'M REALLY SCARED OF HEIGHTS
IT'S probably stupid to write to you about this because there's nothing you can do, I know.
The thing is, I'm terrified of heights – not just tall buildings or cliffs, but anything above ground level.
It's mad, but I can't even stand on a chair to change a light bulb.
Over the years, things have got worse and worse and now my husband has died and I'm on my own, it's really bad.
My daughter wanted me to go away with her and her family on holiday this summer, but when I saw where they were planning to go, I had to decline as it was all cliffs.
I need help and information as this is ruining my life.
Please don't suggest I go to my doctor because I am sure he will laugh at me.
RR
FIONA SAYS: It sounds as if a very rational fear of falling from something high has become an irrational phobia.
Like other phobias, it can be treated, but I'm afraid I am going to say "see your doctor" because that's the best person to help you find what kind of treatment is right for you.
Some people respond to counselling, others might find psychotherapy, hypnotherapy or other treatments suit them best.
Your doctor won't laugh at you as millions of people are affected by phobias of all kinds.
Anxiety UK (www.anxietyuk.org.uk), formerly known as the National Phobics Society, is well worth your while contacting too.
The organisation provides one-to-one counselling and details of local self-help groups.
I CAN BE SO RESENTFUL OF OTHERS
I DON'T know why, but I've always found it hard to accept people can be better than me.
It's stupid, I know, but as a chef by trade, I'm proud of what I've achieved and, when young people come into the company, keen to show off their skills, I get really resentful.
Some of them are far better qualified than me and they love to show off the latest gimmicks.
A couple of months ago, a new junior colleague joined the company.
She was so good, I got worried about losing my job and I know I made things really difficult for her until she left.
I'm ashamed of what I did and I'd like to change – I'd also like to find the courage to apologise.
BD
FIONA SAYS: I know that, as a chef, you don't have a lot of spare time, but couldn't you make time to take the odd course or two to keep your own skills up to speed?
That might help remove your feelings of insecurity and I'm sure your employer would recognise the value of having you up to date with new ideas.
If you're less insecure, you might be less inclined to be jealous of others.
By making this young woman's life so difficult that she left, you run the risk of being accused of constructive dismissal.
I'd like to think you could just apologise to her, but we live in a litigious society and that could be seen as an admission of guilt.
You could perhaps tell her you're sorry she left as you recognise she had talent – that might, at least, make her feel better about herself.
I think it's absolutely vital that you take steps to ensure this doesn't happen again, whatever you decide to do.
PERIOD CRAMPS ARE AFFECTING HER CONCENTRATION
MY daughter has really been struggling to do her GCSEs this past couple of weeks because they've coincided with her period.
She suffers very badly and usually has to take painkillers to cope with the worst of the cramps, but they leave her tired and unable to concentrate.
Naturally, she is very upset and thinks she won't have done very well – certainly not as well as she could have done.
She's hoping she's done enough to stay on and do A-levels, but is worried about going through this again next time she has exams.
As a single dad, I don't know enough to be able to help, but I wondered if anything could be done.
She has worked so hard and I feel really sorry for her.
MK
FIONA SAYS: There's strong evidence that girls who are menstruating, or who are pre-menstrual, perform less well in exams, so your concern is completely justified.
I would strongly advise that you get your daughter to talk to her doctor and don't be surprised if it is suggested she goes on the Pill.
This is not encouraging her to start engaging in sexual activity, but because it will help regularise her periods and make them less painful.
If she isn't keen on that idea, there are other things that can help – a short course of hormonal tablets just before her next set of exams, for example, could delay her period for a month or so.
There shouldn't be any side effects and her periods will be back to normal after a month or so.
There are other things that can help too – but they will all really need a doctor's input, so make an appointment as soon as you can.
Don't leave it until just before her next exams as they may need time before they take effect.
