I'M 18 and in love with a guy who lives miles away, which means we don't see each other as much as I'd like.
It's made worse by the fact he has to work some weekends too, so I never really know when we can be together.
I've tried suggesting we should move in together, but he says he's not ready for that yet.
He's 19 and my brother was married when he was 19, so I can't see what the problem is.
Because he doesn't get on with them, I've lost most of my school and college friends, so I am stuck indoors most of the time with my parents and I'm feeling very fed-up and lonely.
HC
FIONA SAYS: I think you need to be very cautious about anyone who tries to alienate you from your friends.
This young man is controlling your life and you're not even living together yet.
As for that, your brother is probably the exception rather than the norm, as most young men aren't ready to settle at 19.
I understand your need for security, but the harsh reality is he's neither willing or ready to provide it.
I'm sure that if you were to concentrate on rebuilding the social life you used to have with your friends, rather than try to force the pace with him, you'd be a lot happier.
It's not as if this boyfriend of yours has to see them – you can do that on your own.
Concentrate on enjoying your own life and the rest will fall into place soon enough.
Whatever happens between the two of you in future, never let him cut you off from friends and family – things can go wrong in relationships and you never know when you may need them.
I KEEP HAVING PANIC ATTACKS
A YEAR ago, I started experiencing very powerful panic attacks.
On a couple of occasions, it was so bad I really thought I was going to die.
They came as a complete shock because I had always seen myself as a confident woman, running my own company and regularly making presentations in public.
The worst symptom is a tightening in my throat that makes me feel like I'm choking.
My doctor referred me to a psychiatrist, who taught me a few relaxation techniques and things improved, but they've started to come back. I am single with no family and there's no one I can talk to.
ER
FIONA SAYS: Please go back to your doctor and talk to him about this – don't feel that just because you've had help for this condition once, you can't have help again.
There's a lot of useful information about panic attacks on the government website www.nhs.uk, but I would also suggest you contact Anxiety UK (www.anxietyuk.org.uk).
You will see a lot of helpful information on the website, but you can also join a support group, which, as you don't have anyone you can talk to, I think would benefit you enormously.
DOES MY GIRLFRIEND HAVE POST-NATAL DEPRESSION?
ABOUT nine months ago my girlfriend gave birth to our baby girl.
She was fine to start with, but over the last four months she seems to have been getting more and more depressed.
She's still breast-feeding the baby and so is getting up at strange hours in the night, so she's always tired and I'm sure this isn't helping her depression.
Unfortunately, we don't live together as I have custody of my two sons after my divorce and we both felt we should try and keep them at the same school.
She's been talking about us splitting up because she says it's not fair on me that I should be torn between her and the baby and my sons all the time.
I've told her how much I love her and am not prepared to do this, but what else can I do to help?
AS
FIONA SAYS: It may well be that your girlfriend is suffering from post-natal depression and the separation from you isn't going to help her.
She will probably need professional advice and support to overcome this so do encourage her to see her G.P.
She could also contact the Association for Post Natal Illness (apni.org) which provides a telephone helpline, information leaflets and a network of volunteers who have come through this.
It may be that just being able to share her worries with someone may be enough to give her the support she needs.
Long term though, your girlfriend may also be feeling depressed by the situation she finds herself in, and perhaps the two of you should be considering ways of coming together as a family.
SHOULD WE HAVE CHILDREN?
I'VE been married for 12 years and always assumed that one day I would have children, but somehow we've never found the right time.
We both love children, but there always seemed to be a good reason why we should put it off.
I'm 38 and I suppose it's my biological clock that is now making me wonder if I should just get on with it.
The thing is, neither of us has even mentioned the idea in the last few years, and I really don't know how my husband would feel about children now.
PV
FIONA SAYS: It is possible that your present child-free status is what you have both really wanted all along – and to keep it going, you have simply created 'valid' reasons to defer making a decision.
It's also possible that the pressure you feel at the moment is more about what you think you 'ought' to do, rather than want to do.
It really is important that you and your husband talk about this – it may be that he thinks you're not interested too.
So take time to really examine your feelings carefully, because it's perfectly possible to love children and still not want to have them yourself.
There are plenty of miserable parents who'd have been far happier had they resisted the pressure to have kids just to be 'normal', so stop ducking the issue and decide what you both want.
