DO you remember when Kelis’ Milkshake brought all the guys to the yard? She still has it in spades but can't always be bothered going the full nine yards.
Allow Sleb Safari to explain.
Kelis was interviewed by The Guardian for its How I Get Ready series and explained that if she's wearing heels when she meets you and in possession of a pair of eyebrows then you know she cares.
“I like to shade in my eyebrows,” she explains. “When I was younger I never gave my eyebrows a thought, but they have become an issue. I blame my mum, who has no eyebrows.”
Nice to know we never grow out of blaming our parents for everything.
“You will know I care if I have pencilled in my eyebrows. If I haven’t, it is like me saying, ‘I am not impressed with this company at all.’”
Then she gets to Sleb Safari’s favourite bit of her preparations for a night out.
“I will go to the closet, stand there, with one eyebrow done, take a look, head back to the bathroom, do the other eyebrow; it’s like when you check the fridge again hoping something else to eat will pop up – I wonder if I missed something spectacular that I really want to wear.
“And then I will take an hour trying really hard not to wear jeans and I will fail and end up wearing jeans with heels and a jacket. By this time I am super-late so I add a great bag and feel as if I’ve made an effort.”
Kelis says she has a “warped concept of time” and hates waiting for people so prefers everyone to arrive before her. Fair enough. She can probably blame that on a parent too.
She also helpfully explains the difference between socializing on the east and west coast of America.
“I go out all the time in New York when I’m there, but living in LA means going out is more of a chore. It is not a night-time place and everywhere is so far.
“Here, I will work out in the morning and I will end up in workout clothes for the rest of the day. Whereas in New York you wouldn’t catch me dead in spandex and sneakers.”
Now you know, if Kelis thinks you unworthy of her time she'll meet you wearing gym gear, trainers and missing at least one eyebrow. Rock on Kelis.
Pizza Express Competition
SLEB Safari has two £50 vouchers for Pizza Express to give away to celebrate the restaurant opening two new branches in Belfast.
One voucher is for the new St Anne's Square branch and the other for the one on Upper Newtownards Road, Ballyhackamore.
The St Anne’s Square restaurant offers indoor and outdoor seating while the Ballyhackamore branch has an interior inspired by CS Lewis, including a literary wall dedicated to his writing and wardrobe doors.
To be in with a chance to win one of the vouchers answer the following question correctly:
What is a pizza with only tomato sauce and cheese traditionally called?
Email your answer to competitions@irishnews.com and mark it Sleb Safari Competition. Please state which restaurant voucher you hope to win and include your contact details. The closing date is noon on Wednesday September 21.
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The winner of a signed copy of Jay Rayner's new book The Ten (Food) Commandments is Shannon McCay from Artigarvan.
Mariah Carey climbs into the bath to let you know she's working on new music
YOU have to love Mariah Carey who has long been a resident of Cloud Cuckoo Land. Her grasp on reality is tenuous, her love of butterflies unrivalled and her aversion to walking legendary. Why walk when you can be carried by burly blokes is the motto by which she lives and rightly so.
Sleb Safari loves watching how summer plays out in Mariah's world because it involves sailing around the south of Italy on a luxury yacht and being carried on to Capri for dinner. Who wouldn't enjoy that?
Sleb Safari considers it a blessing that Mariah is on Instagram and willingly shares so much. Look how she announced that she was working on new music - she climbed into a bubble bath wearing diamonds and a full face of make up. No-one communicates quite like Mariah.
Social Media Smut
Jamie Oliver with adorable baby River
