WHEN Lara Honnor was diagnosed with breast cancer at just 31, multiple thoughts spun through her head. Would she be around in a year's time? Lose her hair? Was she going to die never having experienced true love?
"I'd been in love before, but that real deep love, I hadn't found. I was sad thinking I'd die having never experienced that. Then I was thinking, 'Who on Earth's going to want to date me when I'm bald and infertile?'" she admits. "But then I thought, 'Stop feeling sorry for yourself – you've got the most amazing friends and family and so much love there'."
This single memory sums up much of what the past two years have been about for Lara. On October 9 2014, she was – like 60,000 other people diagnosed with the disease each year in the UK (or one every 10 minutes) – launched into an emotional maelstrom.
Cancer – indeed major illnesses full-stop – may be a disease of the cells, but a hefty chunk of the battle takes place in the mind. Cancer "presses the pause button on life", as Lara puts it, and when the 'play' button is switched on again, priorities are reassessed, identities reforged.
While it can be one hell of a rocky ride, ultimately, it's not unusual for people to talk of positive outcomes. New research by The Estee Lauder Companies UK & Ireland reveals that 78 per cent of women affected by breast cancer feel their outlook on life has changed, with 72 per cent saying there are positive aspects to going through the disease.
The findings were released to coincide with this year's Breast Cancer Awareness (BCA) Campaign, which supports the Breast Cancer Research Foundation (BCRF) – and which was founded in 1992 by the late Evelyn H Lauder, Pink Ribbon pioneer and champion of the breast cancer research cause (the campaign's raised over $65 million so far).
More than two-thirds (68 per cent) of the women surveyed said having cancer inspired them to want to try new experiences, while (35 per cent) took up or rediscovered hobbies.
For Lara, who is supporting this year's BCA Campaign, the list of positives is long and includes developing "an obsession with the sea".
"I don't know whether it's the minerals, the huge expanse, the calm... I definitely feel more drawn to nature now," she says. "And just being content with the now, and the little things, like having a cup of tea and piece of cake."
The experience "restored her faith in human nature" too, from the "amazing NHS nurses" on the chemo ward, to the endless support and kindness from friends and loved ones.
Health psychologist Dr Megan Arroll says this ties in with the concept of post-traumatic growth (PTG); positive change that can emerge following a period of significant trauma or a major life event.
"It's been researched a great deal with regard to breast cancer. But this is by no means a new theory – the appreciation that suffering and loss can be transformative (for some people at least) is central to many ancient and contemporary religious belief systems," Arroll explains.
"This positive outcome is not a certainty and a number of factors appear to be related to whether an individual experiences growth following such a traumatic journey, including the way we cope. People that use adaptive coping mechanisms develop more PTG."
She stresses this is not simply a case of expecting people to 'look on the bright side'.
"It also depends on what happens during the illness. Social support, particularly that from spouses and others who've had breast cancer, does appear to enhance PTG – therefore if you have a partner, do let him/her support you and, if not, joining a support group might just help make sense of this inexplicable illness."
Despite her glowing positivity, Lara is a firm believer in not sugar-coating cancer or 'hiding' the difficult sides – and also in the power of sharing.
Soon after receiving her shock diagnosis (she'd found a lump while showering and was told it was most likely a cyst), she began writing a blog (Get Your Tits Out!) and filming video diaries.
"I wanted people to know I was OK. When you hear the word 'cancer', you do think, 'Oh my God, I'm going to die', but I thought, 'Do you know what? I'm going to be silly and take the mickey out of cancer'," explains Lara, now 33. "But obviously, when you're feeling like death, you can't be happy all the time, and that's why I made my film too.
"If it meant helping just one other person, I'd have been happy," she adds. "But it ended up helping me too."
With a plot more touching than an Oscar-worthy romcom, the blog also led her to love.
A school friend of Lara's shared one of her blog posts on Facebook – and then one of her friends, Mikey, read it.
One Facebook message led to another and then, last month, they got married on the beach in Brighton, where they now live.
"We're still in that post-wedding cloud," says Lara, beaming, still amused by the "irony" of it all, and admitting to feeling incredibly "lucky".
: : The Estee Lauder Companies UK & Ireland Breast Cancer Awareness (BCA) Campaign aims to inspire others to share their stories to Take Action Together to Defeat Breast Cancer. Visit BCAcampaign.com for more information #BCAstrength. To read Lara's blog and watch her video, visit larahonnor.tumblr.com
