HAVE you ever felt like a gerbil running on a wheel inside a cage, going round and round that silver circle as if life depended upon it?
Long days, hectic schedules and the demands of family life mean most of us have days like these. Often the busyness of life means every day is spent running from one place to the next - for our work, our children and our friends.
Family life becomes a bit of a blur when there's so much to contend with, which can ultimately mean some important elements go out the window.
One of these is the family meal together.
Despite being thought of as an essential part of family life, an increasing number rarely eat their evening meal together.
Figures reveal 10 per cent of families never have a meal together during the week and one in five families then spend less than 10 minutes at the table.
Polls have claimed our busy lives lead to fragmented family lives.
Truthfully, we would all love to be able to sit around the dinner table every night, but in reality is this ever possible?
For my lot there's football practice twice a week, youth club, after-school activities and homework, never mind anything for us parents such as the gym.
All these combined make scheduling a family meal together every evening seem like a rare thing of the past.
When I read about these surveys, I automatically feel a sense of guilt that our household routine is so disjointed that my children are missing out on something major.
We're made to feel like we have failed as parents if we don't sit down with our offspring and explore every minute detail of their day.
We automatically buy into the theory that the 'kind of families who eat together are also the kind who do other stuff together - and that's what makes them successful'.
A common image that might come to mind is the happy nuclear family of mum, dad and kids sitting around a nicely laid table enjoying the fruits of a largely invisible kitchen production process.
Certainly this is an image that automatically popped into mind before I had a family, one that you aspire to - the ultimate symbol of perfect family unity and stability.
But in reality, it's nonsense.
If you work shifts, have long commutes to and from work and your children are busy just being kids, then it's not always possible to sit down every evening with them over dinner - and why should you be made to feel guilty about it?
My busy family life is no different to many people, and it means there's very rarely a week night when we all sit down together for dinner.
Some nights it might be me eating with the kids, other nights it's my husband who will with be our sons. And some nights dinner will be served up by the grandparents and us parents don't even see a meal.
But does it mean my children are worse off? No.
I accept that dinner is the most reliable way for families to connect and find out what’s going on with each other. I know families who gather around for a meal have the opportunity to reconnect, catching up on the events at work, school and daily life.
But for me it's about spending time together, not spending time eating together.
We try to enjoy a meal together at the weekend as a family. It's not even that strict a rule and it's definitely not a gourmet meal that took three hours to cook. It might be Saturday night take-away or a Sunday lunch. Whatever day or whatever time it is, the main thing is we are all together.
Although the family meal doesn't happen every evening in my house, my children know at least once a week we will all come together - and if it's not a meal, it's a film together, playing outside in the garden or taking the dog for a walk together - all these moments count.
It's about building your own tradition as a family, making it a special time for just your children.
Your family, your choice.
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Competition
A new children's short story collection, 'The Crockett Tales for Children', features 10 short stories for children emphasising the importance of being kind to both people and animals and the need to protect the environment.
Inspired by 'a belief that respect for one another, for animals and for the environment leads to happiness and a better society', author Tilly Crockett used her personal experience as a health care provider, pet owner and country and town dweller to craft the story collection.
Projecting a message with each story, it encourages readers to think about how they can improve society. It also emphasises the need for people to be 'less self-seeking, less preoccupied with money, and more patient with friends and family'.
Each story also features an accompanying illustration and a moral for young readers. The book is available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble
I have five copies of this delightful book to give away, to be in a chance to win, simply email your name, address and telephone number - along with the answer to the question below - to competitions@irishnews.com
Closing date for entries is Tuesday November 8 at noon.
(Q) How many short stories are features in 'The Crockett Tales for Children'?
Normal Irish News Rules Apply
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What's Hot!
Mood Matters - IKEA Belfast has announced their partnership with local mental health charity, AWARE in an effort to educate customers, co-workers and the wider public that improvements to mental health can start at home. As well as raising awareness of how we can look after our wellbeing at home, the store aim to raise £20,000 to deliver 90 'Mood Matters for Young People' programmes in schools throughout Northern Ireland to give them the knowledge and skills to maintain good mental health as well as teaching them how to build resilience to better deal with problems and challenges. For more information about AWARE visit www.aware-ni.org
Treat Week - Culinary magic will be on display in Lisburn Square tomorrow as part of Treat Week - a celebration of restaurants, cafes and gastropubs by Lisburn and Castlereagh city council. Top local chefs including Stevie Higginson of Square Bistro, will provide inspiration for dishes that can easily be created at home. There's also family fun, live music, street food and artisan coffee at the event from 12-4pm.
What's Not!
Online threats - X Factor's Honey G has received death threats from online trolls after fellow contestant Gifty Louise was axed from the show. The 35-year-old Londoner has faced an unprecedented level of hate on Twitter after sailing through to another round of the show.
Selfie - Justin Timberlake appears to have avoided a possible criminal investigation. The singer flew from California to Tennessee in order to vote early, and state officials say that's great - but he shouldn't have taken a selfie at the ballot box as it is illegal to take photographs inside a polling location.
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Competition winners
The winner of last week's competition for an overnight stay at the Londonderry Arms Hotel is Mark McNicholl from Randalstown.
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Easy Peasy Recipe
This week's Easy Peasy Recipe is Duck Stir Fry.
You will need:
4 small-medium duck breasts
1 1/2 tsp Chinese Five Spice
300 g (11oz) pak choi
2 tbsp groundnut or vegetable oil
2 red peppers, deseeded and sliced
150 g (5oz) sugar snap peas, sliced lengthways
5 cm (2 in) fresh root ginger, finely chopped
1 red chilli, deseeded and sliced
100 g (3 ½oz) black bean sauce
Fresh coriander, to serve
To make:
Remove and discard the skin from the duck.
Slice the duck into finger-sized strips and put in a bowl.
Toss through the Chinese 5 spice and some seasoning. Set aside.
Roughly chop the pak choi - keeping the stalkier and leafier ends separate.
Heat half the oil in a large frying pan or wok over high heat and stir-fry the duck for 5 minutes.
Empty into a bowl and set aside.
Heat remaining oil and fry the peppers, sugar snap peas and pak choi stalks for a few minutes until softening.
Add the ginger, pak choi leaves and chilli and fry 1 minute.
Return duck to the pan with the black bean sauce and 100ml (31/2fl oz) water.
Heat through and check seasoning.
Sprinkle with coriander, if you like, and serve with rice.
Do you have an Easy Peasy recipe you would like to share?
Are you the queen of quiches, magnificent at muffins or can you turn out some nice scones?
If so, then we want to hear from you.
You can send your name, address, contact number and recipe (plus photo if possible) to:
Easy Peasy Recipes,
Suzanne McGonagle,
Irish News
113-117 Donegall Street,
Belfast,
BT1 2GE
or
s.mcgonagle@irishnews.com
