STANDING on stage in the Europa Hotel, performing for hundreds of Christmas revellers, Dolly Parton impersonator Donna Stewart stumbled through the lyrics of the country classic Jolene.
It was a number she'd performed many times in her shows yet the words wouldn't come. Panic set in but the 48-year-old entertainer continued to sing, improvising as best she could. Her forgetfulness she later put down to ME and fibromyalgia – two conditions she has battled for much of her adult life.
But that show was to prove the breaking point for Donna: exhausted and downhearted, she pulled out of performing and sank into a depression. For over three years, her flamboyant Dolly costumes were left hanging in her wardrobe, her blonde, curly wigs and towering high heels unworn.
"I was doing a big Christmas function at the Europa but I just couldn't remember the words to Jolene," she recalls.
"I know that song so well, I perform it all the time, but it was like brain freeze. I felt like dropping the mic and running off the stage. I couldn't though. The show had to go on.
"I'd been doing a lot of performing around that time and put it down to ME and fibromylagia. Sometimes, I'd get really foggy and forgetful because of these conditions. I knew it was time to take a break but I became seriously depressed after that show. For three or four years I stopped singing.
"The depression got exceptionally bad. I cut myself off from most people. I came off social media. I just couldn't be bothered. I stayed in my house for a few years, going nowhere, seeing no-one except my family and a few close friends.
"The only time I went out was to visit my partner's mum, now my mother-in-law."
Donna, who lives in Ballynahinch with husband Niall Toman – son of former SDLP councillor Patsy Toman – was recommended for counselling. Though reluctant to go, she admits it did help.
At the same time, she began to suffer menopausal symptoms too, which only compounded her depression. So, it was almost a relief when doctors diagnosed her with Ehler-Danlos syndrome, a rare, inherited condition – and then, last year, a brain aneurysm.
"I don't have much luck when it comes to my health," she says philosophically.
" I was born with congenital hip dysplasia and had a lot of growing pains. I was very active though, doing performing arts, singing, dancing and I love ice skating. But, as I got older, the pains in my back and arms got worse and I had to have cortisone injections.
"I was always tired all the time too, more tired than was normal for a person my age. When we were doing shows, the cast used to go out partying but I'd head straight to bed. I assumed I needed more sleep than most.
"After having my two sons in a previous marriage I was told that my back was curved and I had cysts on my spine and protruding discs and degenerative disc disease – not great for a performer who does her shows in high heels. I was also diagnosed with ME and fibromyalgia.
"I still have those conditions but they're linked to Ehler-Danlos syndrome which affects the connective tissues that provide support in skin, tendons, ligaments and organs.
"There are several types and I have Hypermobile EDS. There are no tests to prove it, so doctors go by symptoms – and I have quite a few; joint pain, fatigue, bladder problems. Both my children were born by caesarian section which is another marker, as is early menopause.
"I've been told it is life-shortening but I try not to think about that."
Donna believed her health problems couldn't get much worse when, out of the blue last year, she discovered she had a brain aneurysm. Walking around Sainsbury's supermarket with Niall, she felt her right leg give way beneath her as she reached up to a shelf. With the help of Niall, she managed to get home and subsequent scans revealed the aneurysm.
At present, doctors are monitoring the situation and are reluctant to operate due to the risks. But according to Donna, if it grows or leaks, she'll be rushed in for surgery.
"I feel like there's a ticking time bomb in my head but there's nothing else for it, I just have to get on with it. I've scared myself by reading about brain aneurysms on the internet. If it bursts, I'm likely to die but if I get a headache or feel sick, I've to go straight to the hospital.
"I'm happy for the doctors to just monitor me for the time being and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn't grow in size."
Donna, who first began performing as Dolly Parton in 2011 after years with the Ulster Theatre Company, says her ongoing health problems changed her as a person. When she took the break from her shows and was in the grip of depression, she put on five stone, which made her feel even lower.
Niall was an 'amazing support', as was her best friend Jacinta, but there were times she felt like a burden.
"We could never really plan a day because I'd get so tired so we had to do things in segments," she explains.
"I like to think of myself as a motivated person but there were times I just felt like going to bed and staying there.
"It's really frustrating that sometime I lose track of what I'm saying but that's all down to EDS too. I'm not the person I used to be. I don't have the energy to do what I want to do but rather than dwell on that, I try to remain positive and do what I can."
To this end, when she decided to don her Dolly wig and skyscraper heels once more, she devised a new show: Dolly's Jukebox still features the hits of the country legend as well as other artists, but involves two female backing singers who perform the occasional solo. This allows Donna to rest between songs and is less exhausting than her previous shows.
"I still sing her hits, tell her stories and play the guitar and banjo but having the other girls on stage with me really helps," she says.
"I can manage it a lot better and it's still a good quality show but when the girls are singing, I can sit down and have a wee rest."
Though her health problems are never far from her mind, being back on the road has given her something else to focus on. And she's also enjoying married life, after she and Niall tied the knot in May this year.
"We went on a cruise for our honeymoon and I felt a bit sorry for Niall as I was in bed by 9pm every night," Donna says.
"We got to see all the places and watch the shows every night but then the fatigue would set in and I just had to sleep. Niall understands though. I'm just taking each day as it comes now but sometimes it is scary.
"I worry that I could be driving down the road and the aneurysm bursts but the doctors are keeping an eye on me and hopefully I'll be OK. In the meantime, I just have to put a brave face on and get out there to face my audience."
:: Donna will be performing at the Trib-Fest Country event on Saturday August 24 at the Slieve Donard Hotel, Newcastle
