A CHANGE of pace can sometimes be life-enhancing – and that’s clearly been the case for former EastEnders star Kara Tointon.
With acting on hold, she’s been enjoying time at home with her fiancé Marius Jensen, and their son, Frey, who turns two next month.
“Everything that happened [with lockdown] kind of forced me to stop and pause, I guess,” says Tointon (37) over the phone from her London home.
“I’m normally a bit of a whirlwind, doing as much as I can and keeping going, so this was completely different for me. I loved it, and it also allowed me the space to take stock and re-evaluate things.”
Away from the spotlight, Tointon – who found fame as feisty Dawn Swann in EastEnders, won Strictly Come Dancing in 2010 and has a string of acclaimed TV and theatre roles under her belt – suffered the loss of her mother, Carol, in March 2019, only a few months after Frey was born.
Although she doesn’t want to talk about it today – “It’s a little too soon for me,” she confides – she’s had therapy and does meditation.
“They were probably things I’d put off doing,” she admits. “It’s been very beneficial. I can get mentally agitated if I don’t exercise, I’m naturally a very active person, so I’ve started getting back into a routine with that. I’ve also begun painting again, which I’ve always found really relaxing.
“Probably one of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt is valuing time,” she adds. “I’m aware now of respecting it and using it well.”
She’s unequivocal about finding fulfilment in motherhood. “Having a child has changed me forever. I love every minute of it,” she declares happily.
“Marius is an amazing partner and dad and we share Frey’s care 50/50. The break’s allowed us to work on managing our time, so we can be the parents we want to be, as well as fitting in the things that mean a lot to us individually.”
She and Jensen, a chiropractor whom she met four years ago, had planned to marry this year in his home country, Norway.
“We want to enjoy our day properly with all our family and friends around us, without having to worry about last-minute cancellation, so it’s probably going to be next year now,” she predicts.
Her 30s, she reveals, have brought a growing sense of inner confidence.
“I’ve woken up to what works for me and being who I am, rather than trying to be someone I thought I wanted to be. You realise everyone’s version of ‘what is right’ can be very different from your own. Now, I’m ready to let go a bit and do things that feel good and enjoy them.”
Co-creating a newly launched storytelling app with Jenson, called Tell, has proved to be one such experience.
“It’s lovely to have complete control over something, and so exciting doing something different. Show-business is brilliant but turbulent, because you’re always living with uncertainty,” she says.
She treasures her time on Strictly Come Dancing – despite suffering a torn ligament, which almost robbed her of victory.
“I was in such pain, I thought I’d have to pull out. I was dosed up on strong pain killers to get me through it,” she recalls. “I can’t watch back the final dances, because I can see the pain I was in and the restricted movement, but the moment we won was unbeatable.”
Tointon credits the support of her family and her sister Hannah (32), also an actor, with helping her through the tough times.
“Hannah and I are incredibly close. I can’t imagine not having her in my life,” she says.
Her outlook on life, she says, is shaped by “trying to put myself in other people’s shoes" because "no-one really knows what other people are going through."
She adds: "It’s about coping with the downs when they come, and enjoying the ups and appreciating what you have. I’m very lucky and very happy.”
:: Kara Tointon is supporting Remember A Charity, a consortium of charities working to encourage more people to consider leaving a gift to charity in their will. See rememberacharity.org.uk
