WHEN Arlene Foster walked out of the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Belfast last Thursday night, she flashed a 'V' sign for the cameras. I'm guessing she had to mean it as sign of peace, as victory is something Arlene knows little about.
Whilst I initially harboured sympathy for the despicable fashion in which she's been dispatched, I then remembered the disaster her leadership has been for us all. It was under her watch that hundreds of millions were wasted on the RHI scheme, and it was due to her political gullibility that successive Tory leaders were able to con the DUP into supporting Brexit and the inevitable NI Protocol which followed.
Her legacy is a border between Northern Ireland and Britain and her party is now embroiled in internecine warfare, leaving the DUP in the hands of a man demonstrably incapable of leading and haemorrhaging support to both the UUP and Alliance.
Seemingly enthralled by the trappings of power, she doggedly remains as First Minister when any other politician would have taken the high ground and walked. Announcing she'll resign if Edwin Poots alters the DUP ministerial team, she's accused the party of having become "nasty". Like many others, I'd love to learn when the DUP was nice. Even her recent £125k libel win against Dr Christian Jessen may prove a pyrrhic victory as he's stated he doesn't have the money to pay.
But there may yet be a way for Arlene Foster to wipe the slate clean and grasp victory from the mouth of defeat. She's stated her intention to focus on combating online abuse, especially abuse directed against women. The name 'social media' is an oxymoron if you happen to be female, as all too often it's an antisocial quagmire of hate-filled misogynists.
Arlene correctly identifies the problem as originating in the ability of individuals to post anonymously. This creates the perfect environment for hate speech – be it homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, racist or sectarian – to flourish, with no fear of legal accountability.
When the libellous accusation against her was published, it wasn't only Christian Jessen who commented and re-tweeted it – hundreds of others joined in. They weren't part of the libel case only because their identities were hidden behind anonymous accounts.
If Arlene Foster manages to force the bosses at Twitter and Facebook to do the right thing and ensure those who use their services can be identified, I'll be the first person to applaud her achievement.
Dáil Éireann is home to 19 independent TDs, my favourites being the flat capped Healy-Rae brothers from Kerry
As the DUP oust Arlene Foster, Doug Beattie has recognised that, for too long, the UUP has been fronted by middle-aged men in suits. Having already welcomed ex-PUP councillor Julie-Anne Corr-Johnston into his party, he set his sights on independent MLA Claire Sugden. She politely refused his advances, explaining, "NI needs more independents to bring reasoned perspectives and balance, free of party politics".
While Claire Sugden is the only independent in the NI Assembly, Dáil Éireann is home to 19. This has led to a colourful collection of representatives, my personal favourites being the Healy-Rae brothers, Michael and Danny, from Kerry. With flat caps glued to their heads – even during Dáil debates – the indomitable brothers have fought to bring to the country's attention the issues they believe important to their rural constituents.
Danny, a publican by trade, famously suggested that eating a large meal was as dangerous as drink driving, his rationale being a man with a full stomach could fall asleep behind the wheel.
In 2017, he also claimed the cause of dips on country roads were due to people messing with fairy forts. He explained, "There are many fairy forts in that area. I know for a fact that they are linked. Anyone that tampered with them back over the years paid a high price and had bad luck".
Nor is Danny a fan of modern technology, suggesting that "one splash of water" would fry an electric car in Kerry.
His brother Michael expounded his philosophy on life saying, "Live it up, enjoy your few cigarettes, your few drinks, your desserts, or whatever your vice may be. Death doesn't discriminate or favour those who live healthy lives. It will take anyone, any time, so you might as well go with a smile on your face".
Before you jump to judgement, I'd ask you to pause and answer this: be honest, who would you prefer up on the hill, the Healy-Rae brothers or the crowd of clowns we presently have?
I thought so. Right, where did I leave my flat cap?
