MY sister, brothers and I kept a vigil by our mum's bedside until she passed away on Tuesday night. It has been difficult, but also a privilege to be with her at the end, to hold her hand and stroke her hair.
We are grateful to her nursing home for the access we have had these past three weeks. And it has brought home to me how terrible it must have been for the very many people who lost loved ones during the worst days of the pandemic, who were denied this last comfort.
This is why we should not be complacent about the risks of another outbreak of this hateful virus, however much we want to celebrate new freedoms.
We missed out on the last year of our mum's life, like so many people who had to wave through the windows of care homes during those worst months.
No-one wants to go back to that, and if it means keeping on masks in public and confined spaces, then so be it.
Mum used to roll her eyes when we called to visit her, wearing plastic aprons and masks. She kept her sense of humour to the end, observing that Boris Johnson didn't look like "the full shilling" when she saw him on the news.
When I suggested she could get her hair cut when the hairdresser was visiting as it was a bit long, she replied, "look who's talking".
Just barely five feet tall, she was still a larger than life character who enjoyed her job as a waitress so much she was still doing it at 70.
She was born Kathleen Carey, around the corner from the City Hall at 42 Little May Street, on July 23 1927, the fourth of seven children, five girls and two boys. They've all pre-deceased her so she used to call herself "the last of the Mohicans".
Her waitressing started at the Rainbow Corner milk bar on Howard Street, and ended at the Belfast Boat Club at Stranmillis. In between was her beloved Wellington Park, and Restaurant 44, now Deane's in Bedford Street.
She worked lunchtimes at the Welly Park alongside her older sister, Maura, and between them they sassed most of the great and good who frequented the place, including Seamus Heaney, Michael Longley and artist Raymond Piper.
Piper was one of her regulars and he liked to tease her. One day he pointed to a misprint on the menu.
"Are you serving roast lion now," he queried. "If it says sh*t on the menu, that's what we'll serve," she replied - unfortunately within the hearing of a manager who called her over to scold her.
But the artist intervened to protest that they only came to the hotel for Kathleen and Maura's cheek.
"We pass good places to come here," he said.
Pride of place in my house is the portrait he drew of her as a wedding anniversary gift. It's a mark of his talent that it so perfectly captures her expression and her spirit.
They were a rare breed, the waitresses of her time. She remembered a colleague from west Belfast who "accidentally" tipped soup into Ian Paisley's lap when he pointed to some coins, left on the table by a previous customer.
"Go and light yourself a candle," he remarked. She wasn't amused. He wasn't either when he had to wipe vegetable broth off his knees.
In later years mum fell foul of one restaurant boss who decided he wanted younger staff and paid her off, or tried to. She initially accepted that she wasn't needed until she saw his ad recruiting "young vicious staff". We soon established that it was vivacious staff that were wanted.
She didn't take it lying down and took said boss to an industrial tribunal. He called her bluff until she turned up in court, armed with her solicitor nephew and half the city's press in tow.
He quickly settled out of court and she got her job back. He didn't expect her to return, but she did, to prove her point, before taking another job where she proved vivaciousness was not limited to the young.
Mum was also an early champion of gay rights. We cherish a picture of her at the Belfast Pride March two years ago. She attended every one and would deliberately stand beside what she called "the holy rollers" to wave in support of the passing queens.
And the opposition? "Let them run on," was her favourite expression.
We'll never see her like again.
