Sleb Safari very much enjoyed Martha Stewart’s recent, detailed, Instagram post about what - and how - she feeds her dogs and, Reader, those dogs eat better than Sleb Safari.
Not only do they surpass the five-a-day target, their daily din-dins include food stuffs such as quinoa, kale, Swiss chard and venison. Martha plates up a mean dish for a dog and those bowls of food look tasty, like a delicious, nutritious stew you could attack with a spoon any day of the week.
Martha did a “monumental” spot of batch cooking the other Sunday and made enough to feed all four of her dogs for two and a half months. And you thought you were some pup making a pot of chilli and freezing five portions.
Martha doesn’t want you to feel bad though - just envious. The Incredible Hulk shade of green envious.
“Sunday, after travelling to Napa and Washington and New York, I decided to make a two and a half month supply of dog food for the four doggies in my house,” she began.
What Napa, Washington and New York have to do with dog dinners is anyone’s guess but Martha wasn’t going to be caught napping.
“This is a monumental effort and unless you have a large stove, lots of bowls and a lot of energy, make a much smaller batch,” she wrote. What Martha meant to say was, unless you have a professional kitchen and staff to prep and clean up, like I do, make a much smaller batch. Or pop to the shop for a can of Pedigree Chum as and when.
She offers sage advice for anyone brazen enough to follow her example.
“I suggest starting by collecting all the ingredients, cooking each separately and then grinding everything together in the Cuisinart in batches.”
Before you get all three of your saucepans out of the cupboard, bear in mind that the ingredients number 13 and include an entire turkey which she poaches because what else are Sundays for? Fingers crossed the bird fits in your ‘big saucepan’.
“Included in the food are the following: carrots, broccoli, quinoa, kale, Swiss chard, peas, corn, butternut squash, sweet potatoes, venison, salmon heads and bones, blue fish, and a whole farm turkey poached and carefully removed from the bones. The fish, vegetable and turkey stock are used to moisten everything.”
An entire turkey? Poached no less. And carefully - not casually - deboned. Truly every day must be Christmas for those four pampered pooches.
Kylie Jenner's baby Wolf gets a name change
BREAKING baby name news from Kylie Jenner’s crib where her eight-week-old son has been relieved of Wolf as a first name.
Kylie says Wolf didn’t suit him and to be fair he probably didn’t have four legs and shaggy grey hair.
We don’t know what The Baby Formerly Known as Wolf is now called but you can expect a mountain of monogrammed baby gifts to land in a Calabasas charity shop some time soon.
Interior Design habit
We are only four weeks into Interior Design Masters and it’s as brilliant as you could hope for.
And as luck would have it Sleb Safari has found another interior design TV show to become obsessed with. Beautiful Interiors Northern Ireland is on BBC1 on Mondays and it is, quite frankly, love.
Three design partnerships are featured and Sleb Safari is tickled that there’s a Stephen and Stephen plus a Kris and Christoph. Parents, name your babies wisely if you want them to be admitted to the world of interior design.
Social Media Smut
Back on the case. Case on the back. #unforgotten #unforgotten5 #sunnysbackpack pic.twitter.com/K5PFysBH9L
— Sanjeev Bhaskar (@TVSanjeev) March 22, 2022
