Browsing Twitter is good for a few things – keeping informed, getting angry at politicians and, occasionally, a good chuckle.
It’s the first and last of these effects which we are interested in here, and it all started with a chuckle from comic strip illustrator Branson Reese.
The Person Who Discovered Sharks pic.twitter.com/USsJ0wL51P
— B R A N S ???? N (@bransonreese) April 3, 2017
Ha! It’s funny because it’s possibly true and slightly dark.Needless to say this tweet about the discovery of sharks has gone viral, but it’s now sparked a bit of a debate – are sharks smooth?
@bransonreese Sharks have very rough skin. Like sandpaper. Nor smooth. Funny strip though.
— Simonism (@soc7260) April 3, 2017
@bransonreese @tutandgroan *whispers* Sharks aren't smooth….. ??
— Deth Invictus (@DethInvictus) April 3, 2017
Despite protests to the contrary, the illustrator wasn’t budging on his sharkskin assessment however.
@DethInvictus @tutandgroan Yes they are
— B R A N S ???? N (@bransonreese) April 3, 2017
@soc7260 It's actually smooth like glossy paper
— B R A N S ???? N (@bransonreese) April 3, 2017
Things ended up getting pretty heated when a scuba diving instructor got involved, claiming to have first hand knowledge on the serious matter.
@bransonreese As a veteran scuba instructor, I have touched dozens of sharks with my bare hands. Every one had very rough skin, like medium sandpaper.
— My Work Here Is Done (@MyWorkHeresDone) April 3, 2017
@MyWorkHeresDone There must be something wrong with your hands. Sharks are smooth.
— B R A N S ???? N (@bransonreese) April 3, 2017
@bransonreese There must be something wrong with your hands. You draw like a 5-year-old.
— My Work Here Is Done (@MyWorkHeresDone) April 3, 2017
@MyWorkHeresDone Say it with me: Every shark is completely smooth no matter what angle you're touching it from
— B R A N S ???? N (@bransonreese) April 3, 2017
@bransonreese Your brain appears to be as primitive as your artistic skills. Do you have a fallback plan?
— My Work Here Is Done (@MyWorkHeresDone) April 3, 2017
@MyWorkHeresDone Yeah I'm gonna dip my hands in the ocean and touch some smooth sharks
— B R A N S ???? N (@bransonreese) April 3, 2017
@bransonreese Why is your caveman who discovered sharks speaking English? I'm starting to doubt you do any research at all.
— My Work Here Is Done (@MyWorkHeresDone) April 3, 2017
@MyWorkHeresDone Here's a song Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas wrote after touching a shark: https://t.co/jzoQDKcihy
— B R A N S ???? N (@bransonreese) April 3, 2017
We know. Take a moment to breathe. This has got to be one of the greatest Twitter debates of modern times and it’s brought about wild claims from more than just the wacky illustrator. One guy even claiming he had used a shark as sandpaper it was so rough…
@bransonreese You are wrong. I sanded a whole dining suite with a shark. It was rough. Like sandpaper. From every angle.
— Richard Murphy (@RichJimMurph) April 4, 2017
@RichJimMurph Somebody sold you a fake, my dude.
— B R A N S ???? N (@bransonreese) April 4, 2017
The bloke also claimed he’d used the predator fish as a pumice stone – before foolishly inviting the illustrator to read a book.
@bransonreese I use a hammerhead shark as a pumice stone. It is very rough. I have soft heels because of this. Please read a book.
— Richard Murphy (@RichJimMurph) April 4, 2017
@RichJimMurph I'm in the middle of a great one right now. pic.twitter.com/8dnjRm0QjM
— B R A N S ???? N (@bransonreese) April 4, 2017
Zinger from Branson. Props just took this game to a whole new level. Some people weren’t too happy with the whole debate however…
@bransonreese I wish everyone replying to this about the actual texture of sharkskin would walk into the big wetness
— TheWretchedRefuse (@HalleKiefer) April 4, 2017
@bransonreese @Estirdalin This promotes the fear of sharks who accidentally kill a few humans per year but are killed in 10s of Millions per year in part due to fear
— Remi Cayouette (@RemiCay) April 3, 2017
But of course Branson had a reply to all of this.
@HalleKiefer Love to meet the fans!
— B R A N S ???? N (@bransonreese) April 4, 2017
@RemiCay @Estirdalin No it doesn't.
— B R A N S ???? N (@bransonreese) April 3, 2017
In the end, we think Branson’s argument may have been undone though.
One Twitter use decided to start playing dirty – and used Google.
@bransonreese @Valshen pic.twitter.com/aZo25MDTSr
— Llew (@Raptor2022) April 4, 2017
Okay so if we’re honest, the evidence is leaning towards sharkskin being rough. Party officially pooped – right?Don’t be silly, it doesn’t look like Branson will ever give up.
@Raptor2022 @Valshen That says that they have smooth skin
— B R A N S ???? N (@bransonreese) April 4, 2017
He did, at least, acknowledge the ordeal hadn’t been all rosy however.
When I wished on the monkey paw for "300 strangers to describe shark skin texture to me" I never imagined there'd be a downside
— B R A N S ???? N (@bransonreese) April 3, 2017
And hey, at least Branson isn’t alone in his smooth assessment either. In a clear sign of solidarity another illustrator had their say too…
A shark for @bransonreese pic.twitter.com/Q2iVw0Qx5T
— Laurie Pink (@lauriepink) April 5, 2017
