Pain is no joke but when one Twitter user asked people for tales about the “dumbest ways” they had been injured, the sympathy winces were punctuated by laughter.
From someone who tripped over a pinata, to a bike chain in the face, these injuries had a hint of the Darwin Awards about them.
Twitter user @Gommunisd, who posed the original question, confessed to injuring his head on a fan when learning out of his bunk bed as a child.
Mine was when I was a young boy, I leaned over the edge of the top bunk of my bunk bed and got the corner of my forehead cut on the ceiling fan and had to go to the ER to get it glued since the regular hospital stuff was closed
— James (@gommunisd) April 28, 2018
Some injuries were just innocuous enough to laugh at
Aged 8, not looking where I was going, I ran full tilt into a lamppost with a bottle of tomato sauce in my hand: just missed severing tendon in my wrist. But it’s the woman across the street who saw me reel back covered head to toe in “blood” & fainted that I feel sorry for.
— Sarcastic Fringehead (@ChrisPRamsey) April 30, 2018
Once cut my head open on the swing light above the bed in the A+E where I had just had 3 stitches in my head lay back down ended up with 7 to go with 😂
— Neale Blackburn Photography : www.chasdog.com (@wwchasdogdotcom) May 1, 2018
Sat on a penny that had been on the seat of my car in the sun for 2 hours. 2nd degree burn. My husband swears you can see the outline of Abe Lincoln in the scar.
— Miss Manatee (@CJBeduhn) April 30, 2018
But it may be difficult to see the funny side of these grim tales
I tripped over a lawnmower and sliced my forearm open on the wheel adjustment. On my birthday
— Matt C (@TWEET_TIL_I_DIE) May 4, 2018
As a young man, I was swinging a bike chain around my head yelling "I'm Ghost Rider"
A chunk of chain came down and whacked me in the face
I was knocked unconscious, from a standing position, onto the concrete of a driveway
— Mister Hayden (@MrHaydenMyers) May 4, 2018
I don’t think I can top this but one time we had a piñata at school that was so heavy we couldn’t hang it, so we took turns kicking it apart and I got a running start to kick, but it was so dense I tripped and FLEW over it and landed onto my face directly
— NANACOMIC (@verygoodnana) May 4, 2018
I have more. I burned my cornea with a curling iron while trying to make my bangs curl under.
I also scraped the same cornea a few years prior with a round hair brush.
I no longer have bangs. 😅
— A.C. Dillon (@dillonac) April 30, 2018
Music is clearly a factor in injuries
Headbanging to Iron Maiden across from a buddy doing the same. Climax of the solo. We headbang simultaneously into the bridge or the other's nose. Blood everywhere, almost out cold. Surgery.
Worth it. (Great song)
— Kristopher R. M. (@Kristoph_errr) April 30, 2018
I have tons of those injuries. But one was when I was dancing around in the kitchen while waiting for my food to cook. I enthusiastically swung the microwave door open and and it hit me in the face, knocking me down and breaking my nose.
— Keaton Buster (@KeatonErin) May 2, 2018
I broke my coccyx dancing to ‘C’est La Vie’ by Bewitched. Slipped on the wet floor mid-Irish jig.
— Annie Harris (@realannieharris) April 30, 2018
Sometimes the most dangerous weapons are your own body parts…
I was proving that I could literally put my foot in my mouth and managed to knock a tooth out!
— David Callaghan #FBPE (@DNCBristol) May 1, 2018
Was pushing an 800kg crate of recycle glass outside to be picked up and reused. pushing the one man forklift, the hydraulics fail, as I'm pushing it full Force. Breaks set in, my hand slips of the handle. I end up punching myself straight in the face, knocking me out cold.
— 👑🌹SpringPrince🌹👑 (@AviumTheGreat) May 4, 2018
… and hammocks
Broke my collarbone falling out of a hammock. Almost did it again demonstrating how i did it.
— Scout (@scout0110) April 30, 2018
And then there’s this tale…
Okay, this is embarrassing. I was working as an administrative assistant at my own little desk, and dropped a pen. When I bent to retrieve it I noticed my shoelace was untied and bent further to fix that.
— Gosh Darnit of the New Jersey Darnits (@goshdarn) April 29, 2018
My rolling chair slid forward over the security badge hanging from my neck and my head was jerked down, bouncing off the edge of an open drawer. Stunned, I fell out of my chair and rolled under my desk. Then I immediately tried standing up and brained myself on the underside.
— Gosh Darnit of the New Jersey Darnits (@goshdarn) April 29, 2018
Then to add insult to injury, I got rug burn on my knees while crawling out from under my desk.
It remains the most ridiculous moment of my life.
— Gosh Darnit of the New Jersey Darnits (@goshdarn) April 29, 2018
