The invention of gingerbread and a Hulk Hogan lung transplant were among the outlandish tales Twitter users shared after a comedian urged them to share the most outrageous lies they’d ever heard.
Brighton stand-up Maisie Adam was inundated with responses after a tweet asking people to share the “best bullshit you’ve heard someone come out with”.
TWITTER! What’s the best bullshit you’ve heard someone come out with?
I went to school with a lad who claimed his dad invented the phrase “No way José” and that they were still living off the royalties.
— Maisie Adam (@MaisieAdam) May 21, 2019
Proffering her own, she wrote: “I went to school with a lad who claimed his dad invented the phrase ‘No way Jose’ and that they were still living off the royalties.”
Among the other responders was @w00lich, who said: “A lad in my school explained that the reason he was big was due to the fact he was born without lungs, so as a baby they had to transplant him some lungs. However the only ones available used to belong to Hulk Hogan. I had no reason to disbelieve this at the time.”
A lad in my school explained that the reason he was big was due to the fact he was born without lungs, so as a baby they had to transplant him some lungs. However the only ones available used to belong to Hulk Hogan. I had no reason to disbelieve this at the time.
— Woolich (@w00lich) May 22, 2019
One quick thinker replied: “Aside from the fact that Hulk Hogan was still alive himself?”
Aside from the fact that Hulk Hogan was still alive himself?
— Wayne does a Tweet (@ChefWayner) May 22, 2019
Another eye-watering fib came from @pointlesslettrs, who tweeted: “I once worked with a guy who claimed that his dad – his DAD – had invented gingerbread.
“The same guy claimed that his dad had been on a Greek island and spotted all these oranges just lying around, and had introduced the Greeks to the idea of using all these random oranges to make marmalade.
“So the Greeks were apparently good enough to come up with democracy, but couldn’t work out what to do with piles of apparently abandoned and unclaimed citrus fruit clogging their streets until one bloke from Glasgow came along.”
I once worked with a guy who claimed that his dad – his DAD – had invented gingerbread.
— Pointless Letters (@pointlesslettrs) May 22, 2019
So the Greeks were apparently good enough to come up with democracy, but couldn’t work out what to do with piles of apparently abandoned and unclaimed citrus fruit clogging their streets until one bloke from Glasgow came along.
— Pointless Letters (@pointlesslettrs) May 22, 2019
A surreal reply came from Joseph Patrick, who tweeted: “Guy at our school said he could kick down a detached house in a year. He drew diagrams.”
“Was honestly a convincing diagram,” he added. “Something about starting with the roof tiles. Which somehow makes it feel more acheivable. There were footwear considerations (Doc Martins); weather (rain degradation), age of house (old), dietary requirements (meat). Arguments lasted a term.”
Guy at our school said he could kick down a detached house in a year. He drew diagrams.
— Joseph Patrick (@_JosephPatrick_) May 21, 2019
Was honestly a convincing diagram. Something about starting with the roof tiles. Which somehow makes it feel more acheivable. There were footwear considerations (Doc Martins); weather (rain degradation), age of house (old), dietary requirements (meat). Arguments lasted a term.
— Joseph Patrick (@_JosephPatrick_) May 22, 2019
Several parents shared white lies that used to keep their kids in check. @Ofbirdsongatnight tweeted: “I told my 3 year old son that my car had a special chip in it that made it impossible for me to steer it to McDonalds. He’s 30 now and is still a bit put out by it.”
I told my 3 year old son that my car had a special chip in it that made it impossible for me to steer it to McDonalds. He’s 30 now and is still a bit put out by it 🙂
— Ofbirdsongatnight (@Ofbirdsongatni1) May 21, 2019
Another mum, @SnowdenFlood, responded: “I told my son that all new mums are given a manual of rules on leaving hospital, so nothing was up for discussion as I was just following the rules.
“He’s 15 and asked me recently if I still had ‘that book’.”
I told my son that all new mums are given a manual of rules on leaving hospital, so nothing was up for discussion as I was just following the rules.
He’s 15 and asked me recently if I still had ‘that book’
— Snowden Flood (@SnowdenFlood) May 22, 2019