It was a beautiful calm morning in north Belfast when I called with Ray Wilson at the neat little house where she has lived for 50 years. She had just finished gardening, trimming the bushes and deadheading where necessary.
Her neighbours keep a watch to make sure she is safe and well because Ray Wilson is 90 years of age and full of life but wisely she carries her phone with her just in case she has a fall. It has happened and help was immediately at hand; between friends and family she is loved and minded.
Ray was born in her granny’s house in Glencollyer Street off Limestone Road - all the children were born at home. The entire family lived within a few doors of each other, Granny ruled the roost and up to 20 brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles would gather in her parlour for Sunday lunch, soup, and singing, only hymns as it was a holy day.
So many stories and her lovely laugh rings out as she recalls a near disaster - her brothers were running in and out trying to get to the Halloween fireworks when her father got really cross: “He just took all the fireworks up and threw them into the fire. He realised his mistake too late, there were Catherine wheels and jumping Jennies flying all round the room.”
She left Mountcollyer School at 14 to work in Gallaher’s Tobacco Factory. You can just imagine how vibrant this woman was as a girl - no wonder she was in the Gallaher entertainment group that went round the halls of Northern Ireland, 12 singers and two tap dancers.
Read more: Anne Hailes: Memories of the Gallaher cigarette factory and old Belfast
Still only a teenager she won a singing competition in the Hippodrome and was invited to sing in the Opera House. Ivy Benson, the famous bandleader was looking for a singer for her all-girls swing band that toured the variety theatres in the UK, topped the bill at the London Palladium and was BBC’s resident house band. It was a big chance for the young woman: “But my father said, ‘No, it’s not right at your age, you can do so much more’. I respected my parents and I had a happy life so I accepted what he said and as he added, I might have won that would have been awful.”
Falling In Love
She talks of the young men who gathered in the evening on the corner of her street, especially Theo; he was popular, a sheet metal worker at Shorts who played football for Brantwood and she was pleased when there was a whisper that he fancied her. The feeling was mutual and soon he became her husband.
“We danced at the Orpheus and the Plaza but when we felt like being posh we’d go to the Floral Hall. They were innocent days, we’d all link arms and walk home singing,” Ray remembers.
She was only 34 when Theo died and suddenly she was a single parent bringing up three children.
When she retired Ray had time on her hands and reckoned she could either sit in the corner and feel sorry for herself or get involved in some organisation. She chose Volunteer Now and for the last 25 years she has befriended people, at one time with face-to-face meetings over a cup of tea but since the pandemic the telephone has been the means of talking and sharing news.
“We just take up the conversation week after week or day after day just as if I’ve come to the door to discuss local news as well as what’s going on in the rest of the world,” she tells me.
We danced at the Orpheus and the Plaza but when we felt like being posh we’d go to the Floral Hall. They were innocent days, we’d all link arms and walk home singing
— Ray Wilson
Befriending Scheme
That morning I also met her friend Victoria O’Neill, the coordinator of the befriending scheme Volunteer Now. As we chatted Victoria explained how important it is to have volunteers like Ray to help other people who are less fortunate, most often women over 65 years of age, who are housebound and lonely.
Ray has one friend at the moment and she obviously loves her and values her company. It’s not always so; in the past she has had challenges, including one woman who had no friends basically because she was difficult to like, but with her ready smile and obvious compassion Ray made a breakthrough and became the only person she would allow into her house, and it was Ray who held her hand as she was dying.
This delightful woman does not judge anyone: “There but for the grace of God go I. I’m blessed with children and grandchildren and great grandchildren and many friends.”
What’s her advice for a happy and contented life? “Treat others the way you want to be treated yourself.”
Volunteer Now organisation is looking for people to join their befriending team. More at Volunteer Now or by telephoning 028 9023 2020.
