Every morning I tell my daughter that walking her hand-in-hand to school or to daycare is my favourite part of the day. It really is, because I know that her allowing me to hold her hand like this will not last forever.
This week brought her growing independence into sharp focus. On her first day in Rang a hAon, rith sí uaim, she ran into P1, remembering to give me a hug to say goodbye only when prompted by the teacher. Mummy tells me that I was exactly the same...
As we walked up the path to the classroom on that first day last week, we were greeted by balloons, bubbles and the nursery school teachers who had shown up to help their former pupils on their way to ‘big’ school. Smiles, hugs, jokes about homework (at least I hope they were jokes about homework in P1) all made for a beautiful, welcoming atmosphere which would help settle the nerves and calm the emotions on the big day.
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It really does take a village to raise a child and I felt so very grateful this week to have chosen this particular sráidbhaile for our little girl.
I walked away from the school feeling mixed emotions. She is on her way. Delighted that she is back into a routine, she needs it. Relieved because summer is over and we are back in to routine. Guilty because I feel like this.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would ever become a lover of routine, but since becoming a mother and stepmother, I am here for it. Routine keeps me sane.
I have never been a big fan of summer, and I am not talking about the weather specifically. I loved school as a child and summer to me meant only one thing - boredom.
There was one summer scheme in our town, and six channels on the telly if you had a booster. We did play outside from morning to night, but I couldn’t wait for September.
Now there is a summer camp for everything, and summer is very expensive. I find some of summer is stressful, and even when I am not working, stress is always there in the background. One of my good friends joked that it took her youngest the grand total of 2 hours and 57 minutes on day one of the eight-week summer holidays to declare that she was ‘bored’ for the first time.
The ‘bored’ declaration strikes fear into the hearts of parents. We hear those words as a judgment on what we aren’t doing for our children and make sure to enrol in as many summer camps as possible.
In her back to school research, life coach Laura Guckian spoke to 700 mothers from across Britain and Ireland in order to determine the impact that the summer juggle had on their mental health. She found that 90% said that they felt overwhelmed and exhausted on a daily basis, while 78% woke up feeling anxious every morning - unsurprising given the extra stresses of childcare when trying to work full time during the summer holidays.
The ‘bored’ declaration strikes fear into the hearts of parents. We hear those words as a judgment on what we aren’t doing for our children
We were lucky enough to spend some time on holiday this year, but why is it that when you have children with you, there is a pressure to have every day jam packed with adventure – which is particularly challenging when the Irish weather delivers four seasons on any given day.
If not timed correctly, eating out with small children is difficult, with teenagers, it’s expensive, and it is incredibly difficult to limit screen time – all of which leave parents tired, broke and feeling guilty.
Now we are in the in-betweeny bit, that transition from summer to autumn where we aren’t reaching for the big coat just yet, but the shorts are on hand just in case we get a couple of good days. After all the eating out and indulgence of summer holidays, it is back to porridge in every way.
September brings with it the opportunity to reset and re-energise as the days get shorter and the nights longer. It’s a great time to press the refresh button, create new habits and and just slow down as we head towards the darkness...
