NEW research is showing that the UK officially has more atheists than believers now and according to the 2022 census, around 69% of people in Ireland identified as Catholic, a significant decrease from 84% in 2011.
Perhaps we would be better suited as ‘the land of sceptics and sarcasm’ rather than ‘saints and scholars’?
I recently heard an anecdote about a teacher asking a classroom full of children to raise their hand if they believed in God, and only three did. Maybe most of them had smelly armpits and didn’t want to be outed as a soap-dodger by wafting it in the air?
It amazes me how these same kids believe that a fat man breaks and enters their house once a year to leave gifts and that there’s a fairy out there with a psychopathic obsession for collecting human teeth, yet they can’t fathom the notion that there may have been a higher power at work when the universe was created.
I’m not incredulous with adult atheists, for that matter. I’m simply stating that most kids will believe anything, so why not in God? After all, it isn’t that hard to believe in an entity who knows everything about you, your mistakes, your bad habits, even how you treat your friends. In fact if you describe such a being to a kid they’ll think you’re referring to Elon Musk or Mark Zuckerberg.
I was dragged – sorry, brought – to Mass every Sunday by my grandparents. I remember hearing my granny praising my Mass etiquette by telling the neighbour: “It’s the longest time the child is ever quiet in her life.”
I made no effort to inform her that I was simply being reverent in God’s house because my granda promised me every week that if I kept my gob shut during the prayers, he would let me stuff it with ice cream from ‘The Pop’ afterwards – a shop which is still across the street from St Teresa’s Church on the Glen Road to this day.
I once took my life in my hands by exclaiming “I don’t want to go to church” in front of my Nanny Belle, to which she responded: “That’s good because Catholics go to Mass, not church, and I don’t care what you want, wee woman – now stop acting like a pagan and get your shoes on.”
There are many reasons that the Catholic Church is losing influence over the population, some of them controversial and scandalous, some of them simply due to social and cultural change.
Without detracting from the seriousness of these matters, I would venture to offer another reason for the downturn in attendance at Mass. Is it fair to say that it’s simply no craic?
My own children complain about attending Mass with school because “it’s boring” and I, too, bribe them with The Pop Shop. I’ve sat through sermons where the priest’s tone of voice was so passionless and monotone that if bottled, it could put Nytol out of business.
Maybe I can blame my ADHD brain, but I thought all the other parishioners tuned out the liturgy of the word as well and let their minds wander toward questions such as “Who would that huge cross hanging over the altar land on if it fell down?”
Regardless, I’ve insisted that my children attend Catholic school and to become just as well versed in guilt as I am – because I’m Irish and that’s what Irish people do. Also, I wanted money in their Christening cards and the Communion is a nice little earner.
I joke, of course. Ireland has historically been known for its strong Catholic faith, which has always been intertwined with our identity. Many of us still baptise our babies and declare that we are Catholic while seldom attending Mass, because that’s just what we Irish do, isn’t it?
My whole life I’ve heard the Troubles being described as Catholics v Protestants, therefore Irish v British. Now throw Parnell, Wolfe Tone and Robert Emmet into that argument and watch it all dissolve into madness.
Despite all the whinging I have done, I do actually believe in God. I just don’t think I need to leave my house and gag through a tasteless wafer every Sunday to prove my love, and I don’t believe I’m going to go to hell if I eat meat on a Friday.
Regardless of how many rotations my poor granny’s bones have just completed in her grave because of that statement, I will die on this hill. We can’t all get Golgotha.
Incidentally I may be crucified for writing this article. If I have offended anyone, please forgive me. It’s what Jesus would do.
Perhaps we would be better suited as ‘the land of sceptics and sarcasm’ rather than ‘saints and scholars?