WE ALL awoke on Wednesday morning to a new Don – or should I say the old Don again?
Regardless of how you feel about the US election, there’s no denying that the next four years will make for very interesting viewing once the real Teflon Don is back in office.
John Gotti may have been the first to earn the moniker but he eventually ended up in the jailhouse rather than the White House.
Many of us weren’t shocked to wake to the news that Donald Trump had been re-elected. After all, can we really expect past misdeeds to stick to a man whose make-up won’t even stick to his face?
Following one term filled with tweets, walls and more golf outings than your average retiree, his bid for a second felt outrageous after his supporters stormed the Capitol building like the drunk uncle climbing in through the window after he’s been kicked out of the family party.
It is a historic event in that he is only the second president to serve two non-consecutive terms other than Grover Cleveland, but I was hoping for something more historic in seeing the first female president.
This must be how my Ma felt when she would say “I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed” – but big Donald, like a burly teenager who wrecked the house, has eventually wormed his way back in again with promises of good behaviour and a vow to do better.
Let’s just hope he’s well supervised this time and he isn’t given back his phone until he earns it.
Kamala’s policies may have been coherent and her mandate more realistic but she could hardly compete against the man who made statements such as “I’m like a smart person” and “I have the best words”.
Alas, the Democrats are now licking their wounds and wondering where it all went wrong – possibly when Biden referred to people who voted for Trump as “the dregs of society”, or the fact that their party is being touted as elitist given that they boast the highest cut of the college-educated vote and have possibly rubbed the common man up the wrong way by rubbing shoulders with A-listers in Hollywood.
If Biden truly meant what he said then he would have to admit his statement now applies to almost 73 million American citizens, but can the dregs of a society consist of the majority of its people?
For a nation fond of back-slapping and self-congratulation, the self-touted greatest country in the world is very divided at present and tensions are extremely high.
Add to this their right to bear arms and consider yourself grateful not to be living there at present. If you are reading this from the States, commiserations. Perhaps invest in Kevlar?
Regardless of their motives and beliefs, these voters are just regular hard-working people, desperate for any improvement to their quality of life following four years of Democratic governance which saw a dramatic downturn in the economy alongside a soaring cost of living, with many feeling that Trump offered a clearer vision for addressing these challenges. Not to mention that he throws a good rally, and we Irish know all about an orange man’s love for a big parade.
Speeches and lofty notions are all very well but hasn’t Donald already demonstrated that his word is not his bond?
Don’t they remember when he showed up after a hurricane in Puerto Rico and chucked a few rolls of paper towels into the crowd? One sheet will not do plenty during a natural disaster.
Do they forget how he dismantled Obamacare and robbed millions of their access to health care before failing to set up an alternative, stating that “Nobody knew that health care could be so complicated” when discussing the destruction left in his wake?
Humans are biologically built to forget pain as a survival technique – it’s why women can experience an excruciating labour yet continue to have more children – but the Yanks look downright masochistic at present.
Speaking of Labour, the UK Government might feel a bit sheepish now after sending party members to assist Kamala but it’s nothing a flattering phone call to the president-elect can’t fix, given that he is known for being susceptible to flattery. Throw in a few cases of Diet Coke and a spray tan and he’s sure to forgive Keir in a heartbeat.
Never mind red states and blue states, let’s just hope America doesn’t end up in one big state.