LAST week Storm Darragh left more carnage in his wake than my kids after a bag of Skittles, with winds as high as 68mph recorded in Derry.
Given that this speed was clocked at Magilligan where the prison is, it’s safe to say the wind wasn’t the only thing up there with a record – but unfortunately for the inmates, no walls came down.
The south saw even higher speeds, with 87mph in Galway, but things have always moved a bit quicker down there so that’s no surprise really.
While some people love summer time, I enjoy a good storm. There’s even a word for it – ‘chrysalism’ is a noun that describes the feeling of amniotic tranquility while being indoors during inclement weather.
It’s all fun and games until you need to go out in it, though, and I take my hard-hat off to all our essential service workers who endured the dangerous roads in order to keep us safe.
I also have Darragh to thank for dodging a trip to the Belfast Christmas market last Saturday – hence saving a fortune on hot chocolate and kangaroo burgers.
It was truly sad to see the beautiful trees felled by the winds at Mount Stewart reserve, where historic oaks that had stood for generations finally bowed down to the formidable forces of Mother Nature.
Not all the damage was a loss, however, as I read about the UVF mural in north Belfast collapsing on the day the wind shook more than just the barley.
I’ll admit that I tittered at a few of the comments under the online article stating that Storm Darragh was ‘in the Ra’ and that the mural was ‘prepared for peace, not storms’, but there has already been debate over whether it should be repainted.
I may be labelled as ‘just another Fenian’ when I say that it shouldn’t, but my reasons aren’t sectarian.
Firstly, let’s be honest. The artwork itself was awful. Say what you want about the Irish-identifying citizens of ‘this here province’, but there’s no denying we do a better mural.
Maybe it’s all the practice in ‘the Kesh’ or perhaps it’s just that the unionist community don’t have a mural artist like Danny Devenny but the proof is in the painting.
I remember the first time I ever laid eyes on this particular image, while travelling to Jordanstown in the back of a black taxi driven by a man who definitely didn’t have a fada over his name.
I wasn’t familiar with that particular route and I’m ashamed to say that when we momentarily stopped beside this huge depiction of masked men holding rifles, I may have lost control of the fart I was politely holding in for the journey.
I was genuinely afraid for my safety, until I became distracted looking at the eyes on one of the balaclava-clad paramilitaries and thought how, if this depiction looked like an actual person, then he had no business aiming a rifle when he clearly had other problems in his life.
But to be fair, amidst my trauma giggles and the odour, I’m sure the other passengers thought I had issues as well.
Aside from the bad artistry, it just feels like the time to move on from this theme of intimidation rather than commemoration.
For example, a beautiful depiction of George Best which was painted using £1,500 in anti-sectarianism funding should not have been obliterated in favour of a dedication to the UVF with the perverse juxtaposition of an armed man next to a quote from Martin Luther King, stating: “Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.”
If it wasn’t so tone-deaf it would be laughable, especially given the fact that most of these murals are now adorned with Israeli flags, because God forbid the unionist and nationalist communities stand on the right side of history together and condemn genocide.
If we take anything from this act of God, perhaps it should be to get our acts together and stop playing mind games through the medium of terribly-drawn portraits.
Storm Darragh, like sectarianism, has left many people in the dark and it’s time to get our power back.
Rather than taking out the paint cans to restore a mural, let’s make some posters and march to Stormont demanding to know why MLAs have voted to give themselves another pay rise while thousands of families are faced with choosing between heating or eating this winter.
Now there’s a storm I’d go outside for.