As much as we Irish like to say that we don’t care for the monarchy, I remember the day of the royal wedding when there wasn’t a sinner to be seen on the Falls Road.
They’re a bit like the neighbour that you don’t know or speak to but can’t help opening a window when you hear raised voices – it doesn’t affect my life in any way whatsoever, but I still want to know what’s going on with them out of sheer nosiness.
The same goes for the new year honours list. I never seek it out to read, but unless you live in a vacuum, the news of nominees filters through and before you know it, you’re talking about whether they deserve this recognition.
Of course, it’s never the regular civilians whose unquestionable good deeds are being recognised that arise in conversation.
It’s the celebrity names such as Stephen Fry and Gareth Southgate that spark the debates, which begin with: “Did ye see yer man’s gettin’ a knighthood?”
I’ve dug a little deeper this year for the purposes of writing this column and found it both tedious and intriguing in equal measure.
It was educational at least, as I learned that an “Order of the Bath’ is something knightly rather than the command I give my kids nightly.
Then again, I grew up thinking that OBE meant ‘One Behind the Ear’ – something that nobody wanted to be on a list for.
Back to being a nosey neighbour, I would enjoy a little more information when reading the honours list – perhaps an interesting story next to the accolade each person is receiving?
Then again, one recipient is Ken McCallum, the director general of MI5, whose proof of entitlement is probably subject to the Official Secrets Act, so I’ll just watch a few James Bond films and infer that he has done similar to the beloved character ‘M’.
The sceptic in me was determined to find an imposter. For example, when I saw two separate awards for ‘services to philanthropy’ with the same surname I went on a quest to find out exactly how a married couple gained a medal each.
Down the rabbit hole I went, reading tax returns and end-of-year charity reports, only to confirm something which I already knew. If you have a lot of money to give away, you can get a wee nod from the king of England.
Many recipients value the acknowledgment of their contributions to society or their field, which can enhance their reputation and opportunities in the future, with some chomping at the bit to receive a knighthood just to have the ego rush of being referred to as a ‘Sir’ all the time without joining the army.
I’ve talked with some British friends about whether they would accept an honour if it was awarded to them (regardless of the fact that we’ve done nothing of note in our lives, and some of our names would only ever be known to HMRC rather than the honours committee) and a few would gladly accept a title, if not only for a nosey round the palace and a cucumber sandwich, while others “don’t see the point of it all”.
Before you dismiss the latter statement as a lazy argument, it’s interesting to note that this was the reason David Bowie gave for turning down his knighthood, stating: “I would never have any intention of accepting anything like that. I seriously don’t know what it’s for.”
Then again, he was already known as ‘the thin white duke’, so I guess he didn’t need to be a hero just for one day.
I find myself more in alignment with film director Ken Loach’s reason for not accepting, when he said: “I turned down the OBE because it’s not a club you want to join when you look at the villains who’ve got it.
“It’s all the things I think are despicable: patronage, deferring to the monarchy and the name of the British Empire, which is a monument of exploitation and conquest.”
Say what you like about ‘oul Ken, he doesn’t mince his words.
Personally, I wonder if, rather than honours being an acknowledgment of hard work, could it be viewed that the crown gains more by absorbing the good deeds of its citizens and collecting them like trophies themselves?
Kind of how we like to claim anyone of note with an iota of Irish heritage, as I recall the song that went “O’Leary, O’Reilly, O’Hare and O’Hara / There’s no-one as Irish as Barack Obama”.