On the 29th of September 1979 I enthusiastically and excitedly jumped onto a wreck of a bus commissioned by the then Chaplin to the St Francis Youth Group and headed to Galway in the middle of the night. Our family home was already hosting our Belfast cousins en-route to Drogheda.
It was like going to a rock concert at Slane but without the alcohol. Our guides were a couple of nuns from the Mercy Convent and a young priest. The journey felt like crossing the Alps on a tuk-tuk as the bus was so rickety. It didn’t matter, we were going to see the Pope.
I had just turned 16 and John Paul II seemed like an action man Pope.
When he arrived in a yellow helicopter he was no more than a speck in the air. The altar he spoke from seemed miles away but it mattered little, we were close to a man who spoke to our hearts. I still have my faded blue ticket to this day. It was a day of memories, laughs, history making and friendships.
Little did we know that within a few short years many of the certainties about our faith, our Church and our clergy would crumble like icing from Miss Havisham’s wedding cake.
Let down, shattered, bruised, shell shocked and disillusioned many including this writer struggled to stay on course. At first we were in denial, even disbelief, but then the scale of the abuse, cover-up and collusion overwhelmed us. Estrangement followed. But through time re-engagement and reconciliation also came. Yet it would never be the same again. Put bluntly, for too long too many of those in charge of the Irish Catholic Church were simply not fit for the job. Their hands were not guided by divine thought.
So nearly forty years on things are much different. As I stared at my tickets for the Papal Mass in Phoenix Park, the 5.30am start and the midnight return, I had less enthusiasm about this trip. My body isn’t that of a 16-year-old runner any more. It’s now middle-aged and riven by a series of critical conditions. My concerns were very temporal, like toilets, queues and how far would I have to walk. I made the call not to go. With wall to wall coverage, access to WiFi and a kettle, I watched from the comfort of my home.
I did however go and get a Papal flag to display from my house. Although my neighbours occasionally fly a GAA flag during the Championship, I never saw a single Papal flag in my area. Such a contrast with 1979 where nearly every house in my street had yellow and white bunting or flags. I hesitated about putting it up in case it caused offence. It’s bizarre now that holding Catholic beliefs can actually make you feel under siege.
Faith is a personal matter but because of an unhealthy historical relationship between Church and state it's now a toxic subject. Anyhow the flag went up. Some may have thought I was an Antrim supporter.
The Papal visit has been dominated by media commentary about the historic abuse issues. Historic in time but not in experience for victims and survivors. There’s no doubt that what happened to these individuals was vile, abhorrent, reprehensible, and frankly unchristian. That said, no words or no meeting will bring the closure needed. But perhaps the genuineness of apology by a Pope such as Francis will go some way towards healing.
Some of the comments on the Papal visit and the Catholic Church by politicians, north and south, past and present, have been self serving. Bits have been downright patronising and facile.
Whether this Papal visit is a watershed for the Catholic Church in Ireland is unknown. Too many still don’t get the simplicity of this Pope in his actions and lifestyle. His focus on homeless should be a wake up call to an Irish government that sets its face against building public homes to solve the problem. Perhaps ordinary Catholics can be to the vanguard of looking out for the less well off as the ‘me too society’ in leafy Dublin seems to look after itself.
The success of this Papal visit should be measured not in numbers but in legacy. And in the words of the Pope: “ A little bit of mercy makes the world less cold and more just.”
Can Irish secular and Christian leaders measure up?
