I’M trying to make sure my children get as much sleep as possible – they’re only six and three but they’ve got a lot of work ahead of them.
Their list of chores is a loooong one.
They follow in no particular order:
At some point after they gain their majorities they’re going to have to work out how to dismantle Northern Ireland’s 100-plus peace walls.
A few went up 50 years ago last month as `temporary structures’ but soon proliferated, lengthened, rose higher.
Some even put down foundations, as if they were planning to stick around. Which is weird, because everyone is still saying they’re temporary.
Technically they’re supposed to be on my to-do list as the Stormont assembly was planning to have them all pulled down by 2023.
Unfortunately, I mislaid the assembly, which in turn has led to a problem with the sorting out of all the problems that put the walls up in the first place – bit of a bummer.
Misplacing the devolved administration has also thrown up a few other tricky predicaments like the 'sunset’ of 'mitigation’ legislation providing support to the poorest households in Northern Ireland at the coalface of welfare reform - among others.
It’s all good though because 76 per cent of residents near peace walls are “strongly in favour of them being removed within the lifetime of their children or grandchildren”.
Yes sprogs, you did hear me right - you have my permission to pull those walls down like Joshua and the Battle of Jericho. I’m a bit busy just at the mo, but I’ll bring my hard hat and safety goggles to watch you rip it down in 15-18 years time. Probably.
Another chore waiting for them is solving climate change.
That one should probably have come first really, because they could pretty much be working on that any time now.
I mean, more than 1.4 million young people around the world took part in school strikes for climate action last term, so it’s not too far out of their wheelhouse.
Granted the three-year-old will probably have to start school for her strike to be particularly effective. Although she’s pretty much taking some sort of industrial action at any given moment of the day so it’s not necessarily a pre-requisite.
As Greta Thunberg (16) said afterwards: “We proved that it does matter what you do and that no one is too small to make a difference.”
On one of the strike days children walked out of schools in 2,233 cities and towns in 128 countries, with demonstrations held from Australia to India, the UK and the US.
Obviously if their parents had decided to take action, say through the ballot box, choices at the checkout, when they were setting up their various businesses and now that they are managing them, they might have been a tad more effective. But, y’know, why would you when the kids, man, the kids…
It’s not a long list (Let’s face it, I’ve probably missed a bunch of stuff out), but I think we can agree it’ll take a bit of time to work through it.
It’s odd that I haven’t got round to doing some of these chores myself. When I achieved my majority the decks were pretty clear. My great-granny’s generation had sorted out the vote. My granda’s had made a decent fist of providing a peaceful settlement after World War II. My mum’s had won equal pay. My dad’s achieved the Race Relations Act. My elder brother’s delivered the Good Friday Agreement.
If I have been able to take it easy, it is thanks to the sweat of all the generations which went before.
And, after all, they did it for me. Just like the next will mop up for me the chaos my generation of inertia will have caused.
Hmm.. I guess they’re going to need a bigger nap.
