IN one of the Beano's Bash Street Kids comic strips, there was an image of Plug gazing at himself in the mirror. Underneath the handsome face staring back at the decidedly unlovely Plug was the caption, 'How Plug sees himself'.
This self-delusion comes to mind when I hear Jeffrey Donaldson at his party's election launch, insisting that the DUP has nothing to apologise for over Brexit and all the problems were caused by the other parties. It's the 'big boys did it and ran away' defence.
He's also deploying the well-worn tactic of warning unionists they must vote for the DUP otherwise Sinn Féin would become First Minister and then there would be a border poll round the corner.
All tosh of course, as is his claim that "the message on the doorsteps is that the unionist electorate want the DUP to win". It might be the message on his own doorstep, but I'm not sure it's on many others.
If he had any sense he would tell Sinn Féin they could have their border poll any time they fancied. "Bring it on," he should be saying, since opinion polls suggest Irish unity is not the priority of much more than a third of voters.
And for all their rhetoric, Sinn Féin also know that while the party's own fortunes are rising, support for a United Ireland is not yet full-throated.
Understandably people are far more concerned about immediate problems like the rising cost of living, the ever-growing health waiting lists and whether their young people will ever be able to find a roof over their heads.
The basic groundwork for how unity would work, how would it be financed, what would happen to the large public sector here and what would health service arrangements be needs discussed first.
But while we've got unionist parties unable to see what is blindingly obvious, we'll continue with elections that try to coerce people into their own narrow tribe.
If the latest opinion polls are to be believed, the centre ground, represented by Alliance, could increase their support, especially given that they're the most transfer-friendly.
A significant rise in their vote would immediately throw a very necessary spanner into the current works at Stormont because it would be fundamentally anti-democratic if the 'middle' group continued to be ignored.
Naomi Long is right when she says Alliance should be able to take up the deputy FM post if unionists are unwilling. Under the current rules, the two top posts can only go to the two largest in each community designation. That needs to change and according to the latest Institute of Irish Studies-University of Liverpool/The Irish News poll, 52 per cent of those surveyed agreed.
Nearly two thirds (62 per cent) believe the Assembly's procedure for cross community support should be changed so that a simple 60 per cent majority would be enough. More than half support the removal of nationalist, unionist and other designations which privileges the two tribes.
Bring it on.
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IT is so hard to get excited by the prospect of this election that I've decided to entertain myself by provoking any of the parties that come to the door canvassing.
So far I've only had Sinn Féin - who I detained for a good 20 minutes trying to defend the hames that's been made of the Casement Park development - and the Alliance Party, who got ribbed about their initial plan to deploy unpaid foreign interns to canvass. "Aye, bit of an own goal there," said the nice young man fleeing for the gate.
I'm looking forward to giving the SDLP a hard time about that daft hook-up with Fianna Fáil, People Before Profit for backing Brexit and the Greens for their role in a half-assed flags policy on the Ormeau.
Luckily I don't expect the TUV or the DUP to call as their crimes and misdemeanours would take far too long.
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NOT content with gunning for the BBC, now the Tories are back targeting Channel 4, which has been in public ownership for 40 years although it is self-financed through advertising revenues.
The government hopes to raise around £1 billion from the sell-off. They claim it's to save the broadcaster from the competition from media giants like Netflix and Amazon. But it's more likely to be revenge for that time when C4's news replaced Boris Johnson with a melting block of ice when he refused to take part in a climate change debate. Or when its former current affairs boss, Dorothy Byrne, described the PM as a "known liar".
Probably just a coincidence.
