Opinion

The devil’s agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?

A unexpected dog-minding request gets Fabien feeling distinctly uncomfortable

Fabien McQuillan

Fabien McQuillan

Fabien McQuillan writes a weekly diary about getting to grips with his new life in rural Tyrone

The dog just stared at me, daring me to move
The dog just stared at me, daring me to move (Evgeniya Pavlova/Getty Images/iStockphoto)

“Can you do Genghis a favour?” Fionnuala and I were in the swimming pool balcony while the children were at a lesson.

The muffled, echoey soundtrack of swimmers and coaches and whistles and splashes was lulling me to sleep and I only half-heard the name. But somewhere deep in my subconscious, his heartless, stony face was staring at me.

“Well, it’s a favour for his friend McGowan, I suppose,” Fionnuala elaborated.

“He’s minding McGowan’s dog, and he’s going to Shania Twain on Saturday, so will you feed and walk the dog while he’s away?”

There was already a lot to unpack there. “Why can’t you?”

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“Because I’m not comfortable with that dog.”

McGowan was a tubby bachelor with wavy hair who always made me repeat my sentences by saying “Eh?” in a sneering voice. I had no doubt he had heard; he was making me beg for his response.

His spectacular, coiffured hair also annoyed me. It was incongruous, discordant – I pictured him perched at a hairdresser’s in a floral gown – yet he clearly believed he was superior to me. I was a qualified teacher with a young, vibrant family and a gorgeous, successful wife. He was a sad and lonely digger driver, laughing in the bar with all the local hard men, in his cowboy boots and ghastly jeans.

“Look, I’m asking you to do me a favour. Does that make it simpler?” Fionnuala was almost pleading.

“No, if Genghis agreed to look after McGowan’s dog, then he doesn’t get to go to a concert in Dublin.”

“But his new girlfriend surprised him with the tickets.”

“He can explain, surely? He’s not a baby and neither is she.” I was getting a dig in at his new American girlfriend. She was not unattractive and was besotted with Genghis – and Genghis played her like a violin.



Eventually I went to the house in a huff, dreading the task awaiting me. Fionnuala had said she feared McGowan’s mutt – named Scruffly, bizarrely – and as I opened the door, I expected a growl, but there was only silence. I moved into the house softly calling “Scruffly” and as I peeked into the kitchen, there it was.

If a dog can smell fear, then Scrufflys nose must have clogged up. The thing stood in the gloom facing me, and I thought of Sherlock Holmes when asked about the Hound of the Baskervilles: “The devil’s agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?”

It was a Japanese Akita – a large, muscular cross between a husky and a serial killer – and its silent, baleful stare made Genghis look like a Care Bear. It neither moved nor blinked and behind it on the counter was the dog food that I was to transfer to the bowl at its feet. I froze and wondered what to do.

It was a Japanese Akita – a large, muscular cross between a husky and a serial killer – and its silent, baleful stare made Genghis look like a Care Bear

“Here Scruffly. Good boy.” Again, the dog stood like a statue, and fear wasn’t the only whiff the beast was picking up. I cursed McGowan and his stupid hair, and his predictable choice of thug-dog. What had he to guard that was so precious? And I cursed Genghis for not looking after the animal he said he was going to look after.

I backed away, thinking that I would let the mutt out and it could ablute while I sorted its food and water, and sure enough it stalked after me and slipped noiselessly outside. When I opened the door again, he was sitting on the step and I gestured to come in.

He looked at me, dropped his head slightly, and politely passed me by, then devoured his food in an instant. I gave him some more and again, the slight, mannerly head drop before he ate. I sat on the sofa and he lay down at my feet as we watched the chaser devour the contestants and I thought: what a cool dog.

“He’s edgy. I don’t trust him.” Fionnuala had the BBQ on. “But you’ll have to go back in the morning.”

“Genghis owes me.” I reached over her shoulder. “And McGowan, and you.”

I bowed politely and devoured a hotdog.